The Joy of Love

Fifteen years ago this Thursday, my husband and I made a promise that began the adventure of becoming a family. In honor of that momentous occasion, I have a few quotes and reflections to share from the reflection that Adam Storey from the Marriage and Family Life office of the Diocese shared with a group of parishioners last week on Pope Francis' apostolic exhortation, "The Joy of Love."

Thank you to Adam Storey for his awesome presentation at
our event: The Joy of Love (and BBQ!)

I found it not a little ironic when Adam pointed out that Pope Francis refers to the family as a "path of suffering and blood." As much as last Monday was meant to be a "date night" for my husband and me, we would all have known Adam (and Pope Francis) were lying if they said that marriage was an easy or painless road to heaven. Family can be a beautiful thing, but not always.

Still, it was a consolation to reflect on the fact that even in the holiest of families, the Holy Family, there was brokenness. Granted, I've always struggled to see how the DeVries household could possible imitate the Ever Virgin, sinless Mary, married to one of the greatest saints in the Church, along with their Divine Son, but Adam's presentation encouraged us to look further. Have you ever payed much attention to the genealogy of Jesus at the beginning of the Gospel of Matthew? Jesus' family was FAR from perfect. There was jealousy, hatred, prostitution, adultery, and even murder in His family tree... and He was still pleased to become part of THAT family. It makes it a little easier to imagine how He would deign to become part of mine.

Another point that stuck out to me was how important it is to keep paying attention to your spouse. Pope Francis pointed out that much hurt and problems result when we stop looking at each other. The "sacrament" of your spouse is an opportunity to gaze contemplatively at another person as a good in themselves (not because of what he can do for me, but just because of who he is).

It takes a lot of intentional effort to keep looking at something or someone that you think you already understand. It is such a temptation to take for granted your spouse because you've seen them and you know them. But no matter how well you know another person, there is always a deeper mystery in them that you can't see or reach unless they reveal it to you. So my job as a good wife is to give my husband a secure foundation so that he knows that when he reveals himself to me, he will be received in love. When we both are certain of this foundation, we are more likely to become vulnerable to the other person, increasing our trust in each other and therefore our unity as well.

On a related note, theologian Dr. Tom Neal posted on his blog "Neal Obstat" a thoroughly honest and, well, amatory discussion of what marriage lived radically can be. It was called "Significant Sex." The message was simple: No matter how short or long a couple has been living this, there is always further to go. Catholics are not meant to be prudish about what marriage is meant to be.

The Church's message on marriage is not tame. It is radical, it is total, and it is more powerful than nuclear fusion when it is done well. When the two truly become one, the power unleashed in the world is magnificent. If we can live this truth, we will set the world ablaze!

God's blessing on your and your family this week and always!
Mandie DeVries
Director of Religious Education

Mothers for Vocations

A long time ago, but not that long ago, some mothers got together in the small town of Lu, Italy and did a little thing with BIG consequences. This town had just a few thousand inhabitants. As it was an Italian town, I suppose many of the people who lived there were Catholic.  A group of mothers, with the permission of their parish priest, began to gather each Tuesday for an hour of prayer and adoration with this intention: that their sons may hear the call to become priests.

Incredibly, this small weekly gathering that may have seemed an annoying hassle to those moms sometimes and insignificant to them at other times, bore perhaps the most astounding vocational fruit that has been seen in the history of the Church. From that generation came forth... wait for it... three hundred twenty-three vocations to the priesthood or religious life. In September 1946, there was a reunion of these classmates and village mates and this immortal photo was taken:

Photo Credit spiritualmotherhoodforpriests.blogspot.com

Back in January, I saw a CNN episode that our diocese posted on Facebook. It was about how the Diocese of Lansing, Michigan is defying all statistics and experiencing a vocations boom. I was curious about why and wanted to ask more questions than Lisa Ling did. After checking out their website (very excellent, with cool videos that they have produced), I noticed right away that they have a beautiful, young, consecrated single woman who serves the Director of Consecrated Vocations for their diocese. (Interesting!) I was still curious, so I decided to call the vocations director in Lansing and asked him what has been the key to their success.

His answer was something that the mothers of Lu figured out more than a hundred years ago. In order for vocations to thrive in a community, the parish and community must intentionally foster a culture of vocations and make it a normal life decision. Those mothers in Lu were a constant and weekly presence that was known and expected. The community was praying to God and truly expected God to answer them. 

This vocations director also pointed out was that when discerning your vocation and highly considering priesthood or religious life became normal, it was more common for young men and women to try it and find out it was not for them.  But he did not see this as a negative at all. In fact, when more of our young people enter seminary or formation for religious life, it is a sign that our young people are thinking more deeply about what it is that God is calling them to be. This culture leads to holier marriages, priests, deacons, and religious, because the young person's vocation is not something that is chosen by inertia or by default, but by choice. It reminds me of a great quote at the end of the movie The Trouble with Angels (which you should absolutely watch with your children--teenaged pranks notwithstanding): "She didn't yield, she chose. And I'd rather have one like her who chose than a hundred who yield."

It has been a very, very long time since All Saints has borne the fruit of a religious vocation. Yet we already are seeing the beginnings of new fruit as two of our parishioners have entered the aspirancy for the diaconate! Most definitely it will not be a "normal" thing for that first man or woman (young or not-so-young) to start a new tradition at All Saints. It will take greater courage than perhaps it will for those who take this step in the future. 

So often we pray for vocations for the Church, but we don't pray intentionally for vocations in our parish or vocations in our families. Let us earnestly begin! Only then will we see God's hand clearly as He moves more and more of our parishoiners and children to listen to His call and equips them with all they need to fully answer Him.