The Nod

(Reprinted from 2014--I will be taking July off from posting. I look forward to starting up again in August!)

I remember the first time I left Mass early.

I was 11, I think, and my older cousin had tapped me and let me know we'd leave right after Communion. We were such renegades! As we headed past the doors, I grabbed a bulletin to give to my mom as "proof" that I went to Mass, and the two of us ran home to my grandmother's while they were finishing the Communion hymn.

When were back in our hometown and on our way to Mass at our own parish, I (foolishly) asked my parents if we could leave after Communion.  If I could have seen my mother's face, I'm sure the mixture of shock and disapproval would have been plain, but instead I heard my dad say:

"How about this: you kids look at me right before Communion, and if I give "the nod" then you'll know to just keep walking out the door instead of coming back to our pew?" 

We were pretty amazed at this response, but it made that Mass go a lot more quickly that day! We got to the Sign of Peace and we were all looking at Dad to see if he'd give us "the nod" yet.  

Nothing. 

All through the Lamb of God, we were peeking at him, but he seemed especially devoted to his prayers because he didn't even look up!  After the final song, Father left and we turned to go. When I asked Dad about it in the car, he said, "Oh, well, I guess you'll just need to watch for it next week."

We kept watching for the next few weeks, but it was like my dad's head became immobile and barely moved at all from the Great Amen to the closing blessing.  

I remember one particular Sunday when I realized that "the nod" was actually never going to happen. My dad pointed out a small painting near the back door of a parish in a neighboring town.  It had a picture of a guy with sneaky eyes darting out the back door. Underneath the painting were these words: 

"Judas was the first one to leave Mass early."  

Let's just say I got the message!

God's blessing on you and your family this week and always.

Mandie DeVries, Director of Religious Education

World Youth Day: Krakow 2016

I remember sitting in front of the computer the day that World Youth Day in Rio 2013 drew to a close. They had just announced the next location for World Youth Day: Krakow 2016. I shared the post on Facebook with the note: "Change jar starts now!" It took a while before people realized that I was serious.

World Youth Day 1993 in Denver was perhaps the most trajectory-changing experience of my life. I was 14 years old, and my mom was one of the chaperons. The debt of gratitude I owe to the great Polish Pope has been drawing my heart back to WYD ever since, though until now, it has not happened. I knew that the clock was ticking for how long I would even remotely be considered to qualify for the "youth" part of this event, so when I saw the location was POLAND, well... I set my heart on it.

It was probably Fall 2013 when I came to my husband and officially asked if we could go: not just me, but all 7 of us. I remember his response very clearly: he laughed at me. "There is no way," he said, "that we could have enough money to take our family across the world." But I wasn't daunted.

"I know," I responded with a smile. "That's why I want to pray that we would have enough money to go. My Father in heaven is rich, and if He chooses, we can have enough money to go."

More laughter. "You can pray," was his response, and I'm sure he thought that was the end of the conversation.

"Great!" I responded, "But just so you know, that means that if God does get us the money, we have to go." As he walked away, I'm pretty sure my darling spouse didn't think we were in much danger of that.

Be Careful What You Pray For

The girls, especially the oldest one, were motivated. They began working at odd jobs (like walking a neighbor's dog) and making caramel rolls and selling them in the driveway on late start school days or offering them for donation after First Friday mass. Sometimes people would pay $20 or even $100 for a caramel roll. Before long our girls had enough money stowed away to pay for two plane tickets AND all of their passports. They knew that it wasn't just their hard work that was making this happen, it was also the generosity of dozens of people who were inspired by our desire to take this pilgrimage.

My husband and I also had unexpected changes that led to the ability to save more money. He, for example, received a call out of the blue offering him a full-time, work-from-home job with an excellent company. Even the blessing of little David last October was taken in stride.

The point-of-no-return happened in December when we received a very generous check from some family members. Matt's yellow flashing light turned to green and we bought the passports and the tickets. Even a brief fear that we would not find lodging has been provided for from God's hand: a local Polish woman from Sacred Heart parish has helped us connect with her sister who is living there. We will be renting her family's apartment for the 10 days we are in Krakow.

This is happening. My eldest daughter is nearly the same age as I was in '93, and I am the same age as my mom was on that trip. Incredibly, my mom will be joining us on this journey, as well!

Pilgrimage

We officially begin our pilgrimage to Poland to gather with Pope Francis and youth from around the world on July 19th. There will be a send-off mass at the regular 8 am mass at our parish(!) that day for all of those from the Des Moines Diocese who will be heading to Chicago to fly out. We will spend 17 days in Poland where we expect to meet up with an expected 4 million other pilgrims. As our WYD pilgrim journals point out: this is not a vacation or an excursion. We are not seeking rest or even adventure. The goal of a pilgrimage is transformation, and that is our purpose and hope.

We will be taking our parish with us in our hearts, and we ask you to pray for us as we go.

"Blessed are the merciful for they shall receive mercy." WYD 2016 Theme

God's Blessing on you this week and always!
Mandie DeVries, Director of Religious Education

Eating the Crust

It's kind of a random topic, but for Father's Day this week, I want to talk about bread. Not in the Eucharistic sense, but as in the plan old loaf of $1.29 sandwich bread.

Picture this: you get ready to make your sandwich and there is a brand new loaf of bread. It's still soft. There's not even a slight chance it might have been sitting in the back of the cupboard so long that it's moldy.

You open it up and immediately there is a decision to make: Do you take the first slice of bread or go for the second one? There are two schools of thought on the purpose of that first slice of bread that is 1/2 bread 1/2 heel: you either leave it there the whole time you are working on consuming said loaf, you know, kind of like a body guard that keeps the rest of the bread fresher, or you power through it and eat it because it was in line first.

If you belong to the "body/bread guard" school of thought, you will have two decisions to make at the end of the loaf. When there are only those two slices left, do you eat a sandwich completely composed of crusts of bread, or, after ensuring a proper burial of these two soldiers, do you decide to eat a salad tonight?? Important questions.

Well, then there is the third school of thought on the ends of bread loaves. I am not sure that anyone else belongs to this school except for my dad. See, he spent the majority of my childhood actually fighting for the chance to eat that crust of bread. He had (has) us all convinced that he actually prefers the heel of the loaf to the softer and more edible pieces in the middle. Instead of being faced with the dreaded 1/2 crust grilled cheese sandwich, we would happily say that we should save that part for Dad, since that's his favorite. For a short amount of time, some of us kids actually jockeyed for that piece (much like we would fight over the front seat in the olden days).  I bet some of my siblings reading this might experience some shock at the idea that Dad may not actually have a love affair with the leathery texture of the loaf-end. He was so convincing.

Fast forward 30 or so years.

I was having a discussion with one of my daughters who was mourning her loss of a showdown over the front seat with an older sibling about a key principle for being happy in life. "Don't fight to have the highest position!"

As we were discussing this, I remembered the parable our Lord tells us in Luke 14: "Do not recline at table in the place of honor. A more distinguished guest than you may have been invited by [the host], and he who invited both of you may approach you and say, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then you would proceed with embarrassment to take the lowest place. Rather, when you are invited, go and take the lowest place so that when the host comes to you he may say, ‘My friend, move up to a higher position.’ Then you will enjoy the esteem of your companions at the table. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted."

Retelling this story to my husband later, I suddenly recalled how my Dad would always fight for the crust of bread. It only now occurs to me that in a gentle way, maybe my Dad was teaching me that same lesson. Ironically, I still think that even if Dad didn't actually like the crust in the beginning, he so enjoyed the jostling and game of winning the piece that he still eats the crusts with a smile today.

My parents didn't write articles about their brilliant ideas for instilling Gospel values in their children, they just lived it. But it goes to show that the simple ways that parents live their faith have life-long effects on their children... And hey, it turns out this article did have a Eucharistic sense after all. This memory of Dad's simple and joyful sacrifice continues to teach me to lay down my own selfish desires in order to serve others. Thanks Dad (and Happy Father's Day!)

The Joy of Love

Fifteen years ago this Thursday, my husband and I made a promise that began the adventure of becoming a family. In honor of that momentous occasion, I have a few quotes and reflections to share from the reflection that Adam Storey from the Marriage and Family Life office of the Diocese shared with a group of parishioners last week on Pope Francis' apostolic exhortation, "The Joy of Love."

Thank you to Adam Storey for his awesome presentation at
our event: The Joy of Love (and BBQ!)

I found it not a little ironic when Adam pointed out that Pope Francis refers to the family as a "path of suffering and blood." As much as last Monday was meant to be a "date night" for my husband and me, we would all have known Adam (and Pope Francis) were lying if they said that marriage was an easy or painless road to heaven. Family can be a beautiful thing, but not always.

Still, it was a consolation to reflect on the fact that even in the holiest of families, the Holy Family, there was brokenness. Granted, I've always struggled to see how the DeVries household could possible imitate the Ever Virgin, sinless Mary, married to one of the greatest saints in the Church, along with their Divine Son, but Adam's presentation encouraged us to look further. Have you ever payed much attention to the genealogy of Jesus at the beginning of the Gospel of Matthew? Jesus' family was FAR from perfect. There was jealousy, hatred, prostitution, adultery, and even murder in His family tree... and He was still pleased to become part of THAT family. It makes it a little easier to imagine how He would deign to become part of mine.

Another point that stuck out to me was how important it is to keep paying attention to your spouse. Pope Francis pointed out that much hurt and problems result when we stop looking at each other. The "sacrament" of your spouse is an opportunity to gaze contemplatively at another person as a good in themselves (not because of what he can do for me, but just because of who he is).

It takes a lot of intentional effort to keep looking at something or someone that you think you already understand. It is such a temptation to take for granted your spouse because you've seen them and you know them. But no matter how well you know another person, there is always a deeper mystery in them that you can't see or reach unless they reveal it to you. So my job as a good wife is to give my husband a secure foundation so that he knows that when he reveals himself to me, he will be received in love. When we both are certain of this foundation, we are more likely to become vulnerable to the other person, increasing our trust in each other and therefore our unity as well.

On a related note, theologian Dr. Tom Neal posted on his blog "Neal Obstat" a thoroughly honest and, well, amatory discussion of what marriage lived radically can be. It was called "Significant Sex." The message was simple: No matter how short or long a couple has been living this, there is always further to go. Catholics are not meant to be prudish about what marriage is meant to be.

The Church's message on marriage is not tame. It is radical, it is total, and it is more powerful than nuclear fusion when it is done well. When the two truly become one, the power unleashed in the world is magnificent. If we can live this truth, we will set the world ablaze!

God's blessing on your and your family this week and always!
Mandie DeVries
Director of Religious Education