Long ago, Maria Montessori famously identified something called "sensitive periods" in children. Some of the earliest of these (0-6 years) are the sensitive periods for relationship, order, movement, and language. The one that I want to talk about today emerges when a child is nearing 7 years: the sensitive period for justice. Or as I like to call it, the "It's-Not-Fair Age."
I'm sure if I could see your faces, I would see you nodding in recognition. There comes a time in our lives when we naturally seem to be a little or a lot more prone to want to discover what the rules are and to feel a desperate need to make sure that other people are following them and to complain vociferously if they don't.
It has long been a stock phrase in the vocabulary of mothers to respond to our children's complaints about injustice with the cliche, "Life's not fair. Get over it." But this remark sometimes gives the impression that justice is not to be sought, and that being a victim is to be expected in this world.
Sometimes people look at the teaching of Jesus and they think that He is telling us that to be Christian you have to be a doormat that lets everyone walk all over you. That doesn't seem fair, does it? Why should I have to be the loving one (Love your enemies)? The kind one (Pray for those who persecute you)? The forgiving one (I say forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven times)? Why do I always have to "lose" and let the other guy get away with it (If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic, give him your cloak as well)?
Jesus isn't just telling us that Life's Not Fair, He's actually encouraging us to generously give away whatever "rights" we may have vis-a-vis other people, forbidding us to "get even" with our enemies. I think it would be more fair to knock out your tooth if you knock out mine, than to walk two miles when you force me to walk one!
Yet, Jesus teaches over and over again that we need to change our focus: not on brooding over how we've been "done wrong" but on developing contrition for our own shortcomings and lots and lots of mercy for everyone else's.
So what's up here?
In the parable of the Unforgiving Servant, (Matthew 18:23-34), Jesus turns the "Life's Not Fair" maxim on its head and makes it mean something we may never have considered. In short, the parable is about a servant who owed a ridiculous amount to the King: the equivalent of many, many lifetimes worth of wages. This poor servant begged for mercy. (He begged for the King not to be fair, but to be merciful). He begged for time to pay back the debt, but the King went above and beyond this request and forgave him the entire amount!
But boy, oh, boy did this servant have a short memory for mercy. As soon as he left the palace, he encountered a man who owed him 90 days wages. That debtor begged to be given time to repay his debt, but the servant would hear none of his pleas and locked him in jail until he would repay the whole amount.
When the King caught wind of this, that ungrateful servant got a lesson in what it means when life is fair. The King gave that servant over to the torturers until he repaid his whole debt (which was basically going to be forever).
See, I think when we are all caught up in this idea that life should be fair, we are as short-sighted and ridiculous as that ungrateful servant was. In our relationships with others, we may not always get treated as we think we "deserve", but we must remember that we don't treat God as He deserves and He is still compassionate and merciful to us.
Jesus is very clear that our sins are forgiven ONLY IF we forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15). You either decide you want God to be merciful and so treat others with mercy, or you decide that you want God to be fair, and insist on holding grudges and getting even with others. I think we are all far better off when we drop the whole notion of life being fair, and live our lives in mercy towards others in grateful response to God for His abounding mercy.
You see, life's not fair. And that's a very good thing.
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