Under Your Breath

"What did you say?"

I made a rule many years ago that if my children mumbled something inaudible, especially if it seemed as though it was unkind, they would have to repeat it again until I could hear it properly.

"Nothing," is sometimes the reply I get.

But it's never nothing. I tell them that the words they say under their breath are still said aloud, and if that is the case, they must have meant for me to hear them. Usually neither they nor I am pleased with the words that I hear when they are repeated more audibly, but dealing with the ick of their actual lack of charity in this case is much better than letting it go or wondering if what they said is as bad as I thought. Words matter. In fact, each word we say aloud is one that will be held to account, even if we feel like no one is listening.

My mother told me a story many years ago about a penitent who took her sinful gossip to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The priest who heard her confession offered her a bizarre penance: "Take a feather pillow to peak of the hillside overlooking the city and shake out each of the feathers. Then return to me and I will give you one more thing to do." The woman complied, but she was quite bewildered when she returned to the priest.

"Good," he told her, "Now you have one last thing to do: I need you to go and gather the feathers back into the pillow." Shocked, the woman protested, "How can I possibly do that? The wind has taken them and they are scattered across the world by now."

"You are right," the wise priest replied. "Just so your own words, once they are out of your mouth. You can never gather them up again. They have gone out either to do good or the opposite. You can either spend your life seeking to undo the damage that your careless words continue to cause, or you can choose to reign in your tongue."

Our changing opinions of others may run through our minds constantly, but once we lend voice to them, it is impossible to know how far that one uncharitable moment's thoughts can reach. Our breath is a great gift of God, which is why our words, even those mumbled under our breath, must be counted and carefully chosen.