Be Good

If I asked you what moral formation is, what would you say? Usually when I ask this question, people respond very quickly: "Learning right from wrong."

But really, if we look at moral formation this way, we are missing some of the most important aspects of human development and what being a moral person really is. Just choosing right over wrong is not a sign that a person is a good person. For example: the Pharisees were champions at following the rules but Jesus didn't have very nice things to say about them.

Usually, the admonition to "be good" has a not very subtle "or else" stuck to the back of it. If we are honest, we might admit that our mental image of God looks more like the tattle tale who nobody liked in third grade who kept meticulous record of our mess-ups, than of the loving Good Shepherd that Jesus tells us he is. So what gives?

In her book, The Religious Potential of the Child, Sofia Cavalletti quotes Father Dalmazio Mongillo who warned that we must be careful not to think of our good actions like we think about ornaments on a Christmas tree. As pretty as the ornaments are, they are still dead (and so is the tree). Rather, we should consider our moral actions as the fruit on a tree. If the tree or plant is healthily rooted in the ground, fruit will come. Just as it would be absurd to focus on the lack or plethora of fruit in a plant that is uprooted, we must look at our healthy relationship with God as the source of our action. 

My college pastor at St. Stephen the Witness at the University of Northern Iowa, Father John Haugen, always told us that our sins were like idiot lights on the dashboard. They are warning signs that something is wrong under the hood. Unscrewing the light bulb for the "service engine soon" light will not solve the problem.

When we see our children (or ourselves) struggling to follow the voice of the Good Shepherd, it may be a better course of action to work at rebuilding the relationship, not just focusing on nipping the bad behavior in the bud. How is my prayer life? Do I read the scriptures? Do I believe that God loves me, no matter what? When is the last time I went to confession and received Communion?

Sheep stray. It isn't a big surprise when sin pops into our child's life. We must have confidence in the love of the Good Shepherd who, as Pope Francis says, never tires of lifting us up on his shoulders and bringing us back home. As parents we must do all we can to imitate the patience of the Shepherd. If we make it our focus to bring their hearts home to Him, the fruit of good action will come.