Practice or The Game

A guest reflection by parishioner and Level II catechist, Angie Julander.

My husband and I have been blessed with three boys. I wish I could tell you that each Sunday I say “It’s time to get ready for church” and the boys jump up and make themselves look handsome and we all happily get in the car and arrive early to mass! I wish! I am sure other families can relate when I say, some Sundays easy and some…are not!

With three active boys, our family is always involved in sports in one way or another. The boys play sports, they watch sports, they talk about sports, they probably dream about sports! Since they love it so much, it is a great tool to teach them about other things in life. One day a thought popped in my head, so driving to Good Shepherd this Wednesday I decided to try it out and I asked, “What do you think is more important, the practice or the game?”

Like normal I ask a question and I get three different answers! “the game”…“the practices”…“both are important.” “Why?” I asked. “The game is important because that is the whole point”, our oldest says. Next chimes in our youngest, “the practices are more important because that is where you learn.” Our middle son, says with the most confidence “It’s both! The practices are important because if you don’t practice, you won’t know how to play the game. But, the game is a little more important because that is what it is all for!”

So, I asked, “Would you go to a game if you had never gone to practice?” “No way!"..."How would we know what to do?”…“How would we know who was on our team?”
“What if you went to every practice and then it was time for your game and we were too busy to go? Or just too tired?” They laugh, “That’s crazy!”…“Why would we skip the game?”…“Why would you say that?”

“Well…think of church on Sunday as the game and our Wednesday atrium as the practice. Each week we go to the atrium and we practice. We learn the parts of mass and what they mean, we learn how to sit quiet and listen to God, we learn about Jesus and how he loves and calls us and we meet our friends and catechists so we know who is on our team. If we miss Atrium, we miss all that. Then each Sunday we have our big game. We go early to prepare for the game by calming our minds, we say hi to all our teammates and we participate by listening, singing and receiving the sacrament. If we miss Church, it’s like missing the big game.”

We rode in silence for a minute or two before someone started talking about something completely different and we were onto something new, but for the few minutes of silence I prayed that my words sunk in deep into their little hearts, and…that next Sunday is one of the easy ones!

Unless a Grain of Wheat...

"Can I take some of these seeds home and plant them?"

Ms. Lynn had finished presenting the Mystery of Life and Death, and one of the children wanted to see how it worked for herself.

This picture is the result of planting about 9 seeds last year, then harvesting the wheat and planting those seeds.

Now a 4th grader, the young girl had this to say:

"I don't think that the seed really dies. There is still life because it can grow again. Just like in a garden, things look like they are dead, but they aren't. I think that Jesus is trying to tell us that when we die, we bear great fruit, because we go to heaven. We don't actually die! Our bodies will die, but our souls won't!"

The Spirit of St. Nick

*Spoiler alert!*

Last weekend in our final day of Level I formation for Good Shepherd, a super-charged, emotional, and sensitive topic came up during break. No, it wasn't politics. It was Santa Claus.

During one of my Level III sessions the week before, the topic also came up, but not in a way I knew how to handle. As the children were studying the two creation stories in Genesis 1 and 2, some of them were really grasping to try and understand how God could have existed before there was anywhere to exist. The conversation was fascinating, but one child piped in that it was easy to understand because God is just like Santa Claus.

*Cue Awkward Pause*

I let the child's comment go without comment, because I don't want to tread on ground that is truly parent territory, but I have to say that I was troubled for the next week about this topic that has been a struggle for me as a parent and catechist for years.

What's the struggle? That expect our children to believe us when we tell them about God, but that we rarely question our culture's modern-day obsession (which began with a Coca-cola ad, by the way) with telling kids about a man with flying reindeer, who flies about the whole earth in one night to bring presents to the "good kids."

Is God Just Santa for Grownups?

Sometimes it happens that our kids can't tell the difference between the "stories" we tell them and the truth. For example, catechist at training this weekend was sharing how her son's college roommate belittles her son's faith because he thinks it's all made up to make us feel better. "God's just a grownup's Santa Claus," this young man told her son. "He's just something you believe in to make you be good and feel less depressed about the troubles of life." Now that this young man was grown up he doesn't believe in "invisible things" anymore: God included.

Another catechist from Bolivia shared that this is not a struggle in her culture because Santa isn't really a part of their Christmas traditions at all. It is baby Jesus who brings the presents (and the wise men, too--on January 6th).

So What's a Parent to Do?

Everyone of us encounters this culture in a different way, but after our discussion last weekend, a few of the catechists asked if I would write up our family's traditions in an article as food for thought as families are preparing for the start of Advent. So here goes...

We tell our kids the truth--the whole truth. When we talk about Santa, we talk about a Catholic bishop named Nicholas who lived over a thousand years ago in modern-day Turkey. After his parents died, Nicholas used his inherited fortune to help those in his town who were in great need. Inspired by the gifts that God showered over him, he never wanted recognition, so he gave his gifts anonymously.

His life was given to Christ, and his work to care for those in need was so inspiring that the Church recognized him as a canonized saint! Just like all saints, St. Nicholas continues to care for us and intercede for us and our needs. He inspires so many people to give without a desire to be thanked. Sometimes we'll even receive gifts like St. Nicholas gave in the stockings of those poor girls who were to be sold into slavery if their father could not pay off his debts. We can say that the spirit of Santa, of St. Nicholas, is still thriving today.

Our children set out their shoes on December 6th (St. Nicholas' feast day) and receive golden coins (made of chocolate!) and a silver dollar. On Christmas, they'll find presents addressed to them with no name (some of these are from us, some are from other people who did not want to be thanked). We say: "It must have been St. Nicholas. Remember, he didn't want you to thank him. He wants you to thank Jesus." Sometimes the girls will make gifts for each other or other people signed "From St. Nicholas."

When you think about this way, Santa (or St. Nicholas) IS like God. He is generous, loving, and cares for others without thinking of himself, just as we are all called imitate our Lord in our love for our neighbor!

On Catholic Guilt

"Ms. Mandie? Is tonight Reconciliation Night?"

I was walking down the hall several years ago just before our Wednesday night session began when a third grade boy named Alex asked if it was the night, once a month, that Father Harris made himself available for children who choose to go to confession.

I responded that it was indeed, and Alex gave me the first of many surprising responses that we have seen since starting Catechesis of the Good Shepherd at our parish for preparation for Eucharist and Reconciliation:

"YES!" he cheered, as he pumped his fist.

I remember how I responded to the news that we were going to confession at CCD classes back in the day. Sweaty palms? Yes. Fist pump? No.

Over the past several years, it is this common and most striking response to the Sacrament of Forgiveness that has made catechists and parents alike comment that something different indeed is going on in the hearts of these children that have been placed in our care.

Catholic guilt doesn't seem to exist for them. They seem to fly to the Sacrament of Reconciliation each month with little fear or trepidation at all. Often the lines are so long that the priest (and sometimes two priests) can't get to all of the penitents in line.

Last week I found this drawing that Adam, a fourth grade boy in our program, made during his personal work time in the atrium. I almost looked past the significance, it was so stunningly simple. Though it had been a year and a half since he'd shared in the True Vine (John 15) bible study while preparing for First Communion and First Reconciliation, this little moral theologian pondered so deeply on the parable of the True Vine that he could articulate his own motivation to keep sin out of his life... and it wasn't because of so-called Catholic Guilt.

"If your [sic] bad, you clog the goodness." 

He realized that he is a branch on that True Vine, and the goodness (grace) flows from God (the Vine) to us (the branches). When we sin, it blocks that goodness. So don't sin! It has nothing to do with being a bad person or feeling great shame. It's about letting the LIFE of GOD flow into you!

The innocent and joyful witness of these children should inspire all of us to get rid of those "sap blocks" in our lives. Let us make confession, do penance, amend our lives, and for goodness' sake, let the grace flow!

"God is God, and I am Not"

The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself,
‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity --
greedy, dishonest, adulterous -- or even like this tax collector. 
I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ 

Luke 18:11-12

Have you ever felt the crushing pain of self-knowledge or self-loathing? Have you ever put on so convincing a mask over the "real you" that you even you can't see through it sometimes?

Each time this parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector is read, I consider this sleight of hand or master illusion that the Pharisee is trying to pull off. "Lord, don't look at me. Look at these other people. Yes, let's both stand here looking at them together. I am much more like YOU, Lord, than I am like this tax collector! Let me just list all of the great things about me!"

I suppose it is possible that a Pharisee with this disposition could believe his words and go home self-satisfied. But I doubt it.

When we consider what it means to be humble, as compared what it means to be full of pride, I think that this parable is a great teacher.

The poor tax collector stood in the back not to be hidden, but because he was fully exposed to the God who made him. Because of this, he could not even raise his eyes. There, in the gaze of the God of the Universe, he was laid bare and begged for mercy. He knew who he was, but more importantly, he knew who he wasn't: he was not God.

Unlike the poor Pharisee, he knew that God gives mercy and love because of the greatness of God, not the greatness of man. The tax collector in the story could be fully and completely his flawed self before his God, and still beg for forgiveness and mercy.

The Pharisee may have gone home self-satisfied, but Jesus teaches us that only one went home justified.

Last weekend at training, one of the catechists shared how her young son prays everyday this beautiful prayer: "God is God, and I am not."

How comforting to know that I need not climb onto a pedestal to be close to my Creator, because Lord knows that I would just fall off. I can take off the mask and come to him in all my brokenness, confident that this great Lover of my soul will hear my prayer for mercy.

At the Hour of Our Death and NOW!

Maybe you noticed a little booth in the corner of the Ministry Fair last weekend. There were two young girls, 11 and 12 year old parishioners, who were displaying a variety of hand-tied rope rosaries, and some of their favorite bead rosaries next to a sign up that said, "Living Rosary of Girls (Must be 16 or younger)."

The premise of their sign-up was that each volunteer would promise to pray one decade of the rosary each day for the intentions of life and their vocations.  The girls are about half way done with their signup. They are hoping to get a full 20 girls (one for each decade) plus one to pray the opening and closing prayers. Girls can (obviously) pray more than just one decade per day, but this is a commitment to pray everyday so that together a full rosary is said for their special intentions.

I have to admit... I would never in a million years have thought to do that when I was 11 years old. Rosaries were prayed by the old people in church and when someone died. I figured I would probably grow up and pray the rosary, but not "now."

I think that their idea started because one of the girls' moms (Geneveve L., a CGS catechist, a parishioner here, and also one of my baby sisters) decided to start something similar a couple of years ago with a group of moms. "The Living Rosary of Moms" was an idea she got from reading about the teenage years of Pope St. John Paul the Great and a group of young men that formed a Living Rosary even before he discerned the priesthood.

Geneveve decided to throw it out there and see if she could find 19 other people who would pray together each month. A couple of years later, she now has 89 woman who have joined together to form more than 4 full rosaries prayed each day for our vocations as wives and mothers, for the vocations of our children, and any special intentions we might have together. Apparently this witness had quite the impact on her daughter who is now setting up her own LR group.

October is the "Month of the Rosary" and is as good a time as any to discover the power of this devotion.

The mysteries we reflect on are a powerful way to think more deeply about the life of our Lord, the prayers themselves are composed from the words of scripture ("Hail, Full of Grace" Luke 1:28 and "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb" Luke 1:42), and the difference that this simple discipline of prayer can make in your life is immeasurable. Mary's whole life points directly to Jesus. Spend time with her in the Rosary! Not only does she promise to be with us "at the hour of our death," but also "now." So there is no better time to begin!

Click here to join in our CGS Living Rosary that runs for the month of October!

Reasons to Be Nice to Your Sister

Sibling rivalry. It's a thing.

There might be some families where the siblings don't struggle to get along, but I'm pretty sure they live in a faraway land called "Nowhere."

I think that the reason for this is simple: we just don't try very hard to get along with the people who have to hang out with us.

Friends? Sure, they get our best side. Acquaintances? I'll even do my hair to hang out with you. But my parents/siblings/spouses/my own children? They are far more likely to get the "leftover" me--the one who is all tired out from being nice to everybody else.

I remember my mother warning me to treat my sisters more nicely. "One day, you are going to need your sister, and she's not going to be there for you because you chased her away. You have to treat your sisters at least as good as your friends if you really want them to be your friends." It was great advice, and I'm glad I finally listened, because my sisters are some of the best friends I have in the world.

Well as I watch my own children struggle with the early stages of this very ugly thing, I'm begging our Lord for light on how to help them choose to love their (currently annoying) sisters. The only thing I can think to offer is Jesus' golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" Matt 7:12.

The only way to transform our family relationships is if someone decides to live this out. Otherwise, we're all just treating each other the way we are treated. That's how ground wars are started.

Do you want to build a happy family? Do unto your sister as you would have her do to you. Do you want someone to be there for you when life hits you hard and you need help? Do unto your sister as you would have her do to you.

And for goodness' sake pray! Sometimes our relationships need more than a little kindness to heal.

Dear Lord, 

I offer you this prayer, to help me with my current relationship situation. Please take away all the pain and hurt in my heart. Fill it with love, joy, patience, and understanding. Bless me and _____, so that we may never surrender to whatever challenges that come our way. Fill our hearts with love for each other, and may you make each one of us realize each other's worth. Please touch the heart of my _____, fill it with much love for me. Make our complicated relationship become uncomplicated. I seek for your mercy and blessing that you may allow us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Please make this feeling mutual for both of us. Lead us not into temptations. Guide us wherever we go. Always put us in each other's heart and mind. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. I love you. Amen.

(Prayer taken from Catholic.org)