Where We Need to Go

"We are in such urgent need of an education toward inwardness. We need to be taught to enter into the heart of things." Joseph Ratzinger

Last Sunday was First Communion Sunday at All Saints. That day is always a beautiful one. The girls had their hair all done in curls and veils, while the boys sported handsome ties and shirts, and some boys even wore full white suits! But even these glorious outside garments displayed only a dim reflection of the disposition of these joyful children.

I just wanted to share a few memories (so I don't forget). Several years ago, a fifth grader named Emma who was receiving her First Communion gave me a gift of a wrist corsage and a card that said, "Don't ever stop doing what you are doing." Memories like these make me want to continue in this work forever.

• Two different parents told me that their child woke on Sunday morning and said, "I have been waiting for this since I was born!" 
• On our retreat the day before First Communion, the children received their First Reconciliation. One of the parents told me that her daughter was so excited about the gift of absolution and being made clean again that she wanted to go again the next day!
• Another child drew this picture during the time of Thanksgiving after Mass on Sunday. I asked her about it and she said that the figures are of her and Jesus. There is a road to hell (that goes up the page), but Jesus is taking her on the road to heaven.

• A boy was a little restless when he began a work called "prayer writing" in the balcony on the retreat. He didn't know what to write. Before long, he had written four prayers. One of them recalled his study of the True Vine during the weeks leading up to this day. He wrote "my fruit is love."
• A catechist observing the sweet responses and the depth of the children's insights wiped her eyes and leaned over to me, asking, "How do you not cry with joy all of the time?" While another catechist poured out her joy at the gift of being able to serve these children who are such a witness of joy.
• One of the presenters at the May parent meetings told me that he had to completely change his presentation because the parents in the class were nothing like he expected. He thought he'd have to talk them into attending Mass regularly and to entering into this experience with their children. The parents completely knocked him over with their faithfulness and joy.

There are many who look at the world and worry about the future, but from the perspective of one who works with young children and their families, I do not worry about the future. I see such a great hope in those little faces. I am confident they will lead us where we need to go.

"Then the wolf shall be a guest of the lamb,

and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat;

The calf and the young lion shall browse together,

with a little child to guide them." Isaiah 11:6

On Catholic Guilt

"Ms. Mandie? Is tonight Reconciliation Night?"

I was walking down the hall several years ago just before our Wednesday night session began when a third grade boy named Alex asked if it was the night, once a month, that Father Harris made himself available for children who choose to go to confession.

I responded that it was indeed, and Alex gave me the first of many surprising responses that we have seen since starting Catechesis of the Good Shepherd at our parish for preparation for Eucharist and Reconciliation:

"YES!" he cheered, as he pumped his fist.

I remember how I responded to the news that we were going to confession at CCD classes back in the day. Sweaty palms? Yes. Fist pump? No.

Over the past several years, it is this common and most striking response to the Sacrament of Forgiveness that has made catechists and parents alike comment that something different indeed is going on in the hearts of these children that have been placed in our care.

Catholic guilt doesn't seem to exist for them. They seem to fly to the Sacrament of Reconciliation each month with little fear or trepidation at all. Often the lines are so long that the priest (and sometimes two priests) can't get to all of the penitents in line.

Last week I found this drawing that Adam, a fourth grade boy in our program, made during his personal work time in the atrium. I almost looked past the significance, it was so stunningly simple. Though it had been a year and a half since he'd shared in the True Vine (John 15) bible study while preparing for First Communion and First Reconciliation, this little moral theologian pondered so deeply on the parable of the True Vine that he could articulate his own motivation to keep sin out of his life... and it wasn't because of so-called Catholic Guilt.

"If your [sic] bad, you clog the goodness." 

He realized that he is a branch on that True Vine, and the goodness (grace) flows from God (the Vine) to us (the branches). When we sin, it blocks that goodness. So don't sin! It has nothing to do with being a bad person or feeling great shame. It's about letting the LIFE of GOD flow into you!

The innocent and joyful witness of these children should inspire all of us to get rid of those "sap blocks" in our lives. Let us make confession, do penance, amend our lives, and for goodness' sake, let the grace flow!

Bless Me, Father: A Primer on the Sacrament of Reconciliation

If you can handle the 12-year-old video technician's wobble, a few of my daughters and I put together something for you that might help give you some ideas of how to prepare your child for his or her first (and subsequent) confessions.

I do recommend this "mock confession" model. I also suggest the idea of filming a video with your child--this highly motivated Leah to learn! She told me the next day that she is READY for her First Reconciliation! The main thing to avoid is the idea of checking off a "grocery list." When you say you are sorry to someone you hurt, you come with contrition and sorrow. These are the most important elements for us to bring. God does the rest.

Another daughter and I also put together this little song to break down the 5 things you may say when you go to confession.  

Here are the words. The words in bold are the things you can actually say (the actual Rite does not call for these words, but they are the customary form and can help to get over nervousness):

1. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

2. Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

3. This is how long it's been.

4. These are my sins. (This is where you confess your sins).

These are the ways I've fallen short of who I want to be.

These are the things I've done that keep your grace from flowing free.

5. And I'm sorry for these and all my sins.

(Then it's Father's turn. He will give advice and a Penance, then he'll ask for the Act of Contrition which you say. He will then pray the Prayer of Absolution. You will make the Sign of the Cross at the end and say Amen and Thank you, Father! often you will go and do your penance in the church as soon as you are finished).

This isn't the theology of the Sacrament at all, that's what all of our the Bible studies are for! This is just the "form" so to speak. Some priests I've confessed to didn't care much at all whether or not I used the "form" above, but once you know it by heart, it takes a lot of anxiety away. We always have cards available so they can "cheat" on the customary form part, but it would be great for parents and kids to run through it a few times together. I know Leah felt much better after 5-10 minutes of going through it with me. 

God be with you as you prepare your child!