Open House!

Work Is Love Made Visible

It's funny how we model the faith in the littlest things. The children come into the atrium and it is all prepared for them. They leave it beautiful when it is time to go. They take care of the environment and each other. Parents have told me that when they use our language at home, they find a magical power to the words: "It is time to restore our work." It isn't magic, though. It is tapping into the dignity and desire of the child to live in harmony with those around them. It gives purpose to their work and their life.

"Work is Love made visible." Kahlil Gibran

I was asked to make this with a new and equally relevant quote :) #stteresaofcalcutta #catholicart #catholicartisans

A photo posted by Sweet Oak Gallery (@sweetoakgallery) on Feb 6, 2017 at 8:06pm PST

The Contemplative Child

Growing Up Together

One of my favorite parts of seminal family gatherings is running into my cousin, Matt. Matt's a few years younger than I am, and while we didn't exactly grow up together, it is awesome that he's in Des Moines now, currently working toward his degree at Drake University. Since the birth of his daughter a little over a year ago, we've had some really amazing conversations about children, education, and life in general. This Super Bowl Party at my parents' house last week was no exception.

Looking at the world around us, we both were a little disheartened by how divided the world seems to be and wondered if it is not getting worse instead of better. "It makes you wonder," he ventured, "if it is the right thing to do to bring children into this mess." He caught the look on my face and immediately said what I was thinking, "But it's only the good kids who were raised well who are going to change things." He went on to say how he's starting to really realize how serious this parenting thing is.

"We don't do the baby-talk thing anymore. She might only be a year old, but she is intelligent, she can understand. It's like when we look at her now, we see her future self, and we need to equip her to be that woman."

Maria Montessori used to say that the child is the only one who can do the very important work of building a man, but as I discussed with my cousin, the child's work is not just that of self-discovery and development into an adult. The child also has a irreplaceable role in maturing the adults in his life. Montessori went so far as to call it "the apostolate of the child."

Curse words, inappropriate jokes and conversations, lewd commercials and even violence suddenly become far worse when the adult sees them through the eyes of a child. "There are kids in the room!" "There are children here!" Praise God, immature behavior usually changes when there are children around.

It is most surprising when impatience and selfishness in the adult gives way to the genuine needs of a helpless infant or child. I heard the story of a mother of 7 in a doctor's waiting room who was told, "Wow! 7 children? You are a more patient woman than I am!" The mother responded, "I find that with each child I become more patient. But really, I'm still very impatient. I could probably still use a few more."

It's kind of funny that we become parents under this one-sided idea that we will "raise" our children, or that we will help them grow up. This is definitely true, but without little ones in our lives, I'm not sure that any of us would ever really grow up. Children are the best hope of the world not just for the adults they may become, but for the adults they help us to become. I find it pretty cool that even though my cousin and I spent most of our childhoods states apart, because of our little ones, we still get to grow up together.

"Taking a child he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it he said to them,'Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.'" Mark 9:36-37

The Third Degree

Growing up, we spent several years just outside of Reno, Nevada where my dad was active in the Knights of Columbus. This organization was very mysterious to me, as it was made up of (to my 7 year old eyes) very strong, brave, and loyal men who served the Church with their whole heart and soul, but I didn't know much about what they did behind closed doors. My father helped to build the mystery about this group for me when he spent what felt like months preparing for his "third degree."

(Here's a picture of my dad. He'll probably kill me for printing a picture of him, but that's okay. All of us siblings went together a few years ago to buy him the "regalia" of the fourth degree members:)

Anyway, at the time, I didn't know anything about how Knights of Columbus moved through their degrees, but from the way my dad talked, it sounded very intense. Among other things, he had to memorize the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and, I remember very clearly, the Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary.

As the oldest child in the family, I remember taking it on as my special task to help my father prepare for this very important ceremony. I got all of the materials and I would quiz him each night. I couldn't believe it, but it seemed to me that I caught on to these things much more easily than he appeared to.

"Ok, Dad. Now what is the Third Sorrowful Mystery?"

He'd think carefully and then say, "The Carrying of the Cross?"

"Nope, that's the fourth!"

"Ummmmm.. Can you give me a hint?"

I'd pantomime something being placed on my head and he'd finally remember. "Oh! The Crowning with Thorns!"

Needless to say, the reverence and importance with which my father treated the degrees of the Knights of Columbus took on an epic proportion in my mind. So when my husband became Catholic and was able to join the Knights of Columbus, I was ready to return to my special role of "squire" in preparing him. However, though the degrees are apparently very meaningful and special, my husband told me that he went through no such "third degree" as my father had experienced.

I was disappointed about this and shared it with my dad the next time I saw him.  I told him of my fond memories of teaching him the sorrowful mysteries while he was "studying" for his third degree, and he laughed. "You were teaching me?" he chuckled. "Ohhhhh, that's how it was."

I still feel a little sheepish for being so easily duped as a child, but I have to admit that the gift of that time with my dad, "teaching him his faith" is still a special memory for me. Even thirty years later, I feel a special connection to the Knights of Columbus for that small way I was drawn into their fraternal bond. Dad is still an active Knight of Columbus at his parish (Grand Knight this year, actually), and I'm so grateful that our parish has its own council (#10282) here at All Saints full of strong, brave, and loyal men who serve the Church with their whole hearts and souls.

The Widow's Mite

A friend recently attended Mass where the priest spoke to the parents of young children in this way: "You know, many mothers and fathers are afraid to attend Mass with their little ones because they as adults can't pay attention like they did when they went without children. They can't hear the homily as attentively, they can't pray as reverently. In fact, they may be trying their best just to keep the grace/sin meter in the positive for the duration of the Mass! But remember, God doesn't measure our lives based on how much we give. Think of how he considered the bounteous donations of silver and spices to the temple treasury by the rich Jews of his time. Of course they could give, and they could give without it hurting one bit. Jesus focused on the woman who gave just two mites. Why? Because she gave all she had." 

Be of great courage when Mass is hard with young children. God will bless your efforts and multiply your gift generously. Sometimes you even get to see the fruits of your sacrifice while the children are still young. As we contemplate how the Holy Spirit came upon his Church, gathered together in the upper room so many centuries ago, I give you a few stories collected over the past few weeks of how that same Spirit fills the children with spontaneous joy and love:

Last weekend, I attended Mass at a different parish in order to celebrate my friend's daughter's baptism. The homily for the Ascension was preparing for this weekend's Pentecost celebration. The priest was entreating all of us to be ready to say YES to the Holy Spirit. Mary, he said, was the first to receive that outpouring at the Annunciation. She was there at Pentecost telling everyone, "Say YES!" A little 3-year-old boy in the front pew (under it, actually), spontaneously shouted in response, "YES!" The good monsignor was a little taken aback, as he meant to prepare us all to say yes NEXT Sunday, but since when have you heard of a 3 year old waiting patiently for anything, least of all the Holy Spirit!

That story reminded me of 8:30 Mass a couple of weeks ago. As Father Harris said the words, "This is my body, which will be given up for you" and held up the newly-consecrated host, the silence of the community was broken as a just-turned-3-year-old girl exclaimed, "Mommy! It's a miracle!"

And one last story...

After that mass, a parishioner shared that the previous weekend her husband was heading to Saturday night Mass on his own, because he was taking their toddler son to the grandparents' house the next morning. When the little boy noticed his daddy driving away, he asked, "Where Daddy go?" His mom explained that Daddy was going to Mass, at which point the little boy ran to the front door and tried to put on his shoes in a hurry as he kept repeating, "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!"

Remember, it's not how much you give, but how much of yourself that you give. When we give all we have, God pours out His blessings in abundance!

The Widow's Mite by James Christensen

May the Holy Spirit bless you!
Mandie DeVries, Director of Religious Education

Flowers for Mary

Once, several years ago now, we bought our first house. The previous owners had cultivated a beautiful backyard, which, in the course of the four years that we lived there, I did not manage to completely ruin. Each spring, I would look on in awe at the beauty that was popping out of the ground, unbidden by me, but which was undoubtedly planned and labored for by my talented predecessor.

Having grown up without fresh flowers in my life, my new backyard was an embarrassment of riches. Such wonderful things as "volunteer" tomatoes, fresh chives, lilies, and hostas flourished in that sanctuary. But I will never forget the sweet-smelling, colorful roses.

When the first rose of the year would appear, we had a tradition in our little family to cut it and bring it with us to church. At that time, All Saints only had two Mary statues (I think we're up to five now!) We would go to the statue where the votive candles are lit, and offer the "first fruits" of our garden to our Lady.

Each week, throughout the growing season, we would look to see if there were blooming lilies or roses or other beauties we could set before our Mother as an act of love to her. We did not plant those flowers, but they were still fruits of our garden, and we were happy to offer them as a gift.

Those days, however, are long gone, and unfortunately I still do not have a gardening bone in my body. It has made me sad that my younger girls do not remember that little gesture, because we moved before they were born, and alas, all that's growing in our back yard is grass.

Yet last Sunday, I noticed my Leah (8) running back and forth in the front of the church while we were preparing for the Fire and Mercy musical inside. I saw her skipping and running back and forth from the statue of Mary. I realized she was gathering blossoms from the blooming trees, and dandelions, and whatever else she could find and laying them there at Mary's feet.



So many things about this touched my motherly heart as she completed her task. It was pure joy to see the happiness in her heart as she saw the beauty of the spring and was moved in her spirit to bring that beauty to her Mother as a gift. So simple. So humble. So perfect. Even without a garden, little Leah can find flowers to offer. Flowers for Mary.

Prayer Table in the Home

Prominent in every Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium is a corner where the children gather (and sometimes go alone) for quiet and prayer. As I was talking with veteran parents in our program this year about how CGS has affected their family, several parents told me that the biggest change for them has been the addition of a prayer table in their home.

What is a prayer table?

Inez, our parish housekeeper, often shares stories of her mother and grandmothers who would have a small table that was always decorated with religious items like rosaries, a bible, pretty flowers, and even beautiful wrapping paper that was saved from birthdays or Christmas. She told me how her grandmother made it a priority to always have enough "candle money" to keep a vigil candle there.

The prayer table in the atrium is a lot like this, yet simpler, so that the young child can prepare it on his or her own. On a shelf or in a basket next to a low table, we have 4 different colored cloths (purple, green, red, and white)--one for each liturgical season. The child will make sure that the prayer table cloth matches the color he or she sees Father wearing at Mass.

There is also a bible stand, a beautiful, yet small, bible (to which the children show tender and awed reverence), a small candle, and a few options for little statues that the child may place.  There is also a basket of prayer cards with simple (for the youngest children) and then more complex prayers and psalms written on them (at home we have many saint cards and holy cards, too). There are also options for beautiful art and often the table will be decorated by the children with flowers.

One parent in particular told me how her 5 year old son will bring her to the prayer table in their home throughout the day, just to offer quick prayers for people he loves. Having a holy place prepared in our homes is a great reminder of the sacred that is all around us, and more importantly it is a call to prayer!

Prayer Cloths Available!

Shepherd's Staff is the regional board that serves Catechesis of the Good Shepherd catechists in Iowa, and they have put together this beautiful collection of prayer cloths for the atrium and for home! BONUS: proceeds from the sale of the cloths helps to provide scholarships for CGS trainings!

The cloths are $30 with shipping, but to save on shipping, we have a dozen or so sets available at All Saints for $25. First come, first served! If there is high demand, we'll put in another order.

Inside Out

In the very early morning if you tune into Iowa CatholicRadio, you can hear a spot on the EWTN Sunrise Morning Show that is dedicated to movie reviews. As a Catholic parent, it isn't very practical to pre-view every single movie that your child will see, so this can be really helpful when trying to discern what is (and isn't) good for our kids and even us grownups to watch.  A few weeks ago, I caught enough of the review on the new Pixar movie, Inside Out, that I decided it would be okay to take my family and check it out. 

I was not disappointed.

The prevailing descriptor for this movie has been one word: clever. Most of the action in the movie takes place on the inside of a little girl's head, centered in her "control center" where the characters are played by her prevailing emotions (or her "passions" for you classically trained philosophers out there): Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Fear.

I loved this movie, which, since I can be pretty hard to please cinema-wise, is a big deal for me. There are so many great life lessons to be learned and interesting thoughts to be "thunk" for grownups and kids alike.

For one thing, all of the emotion characters most respected JOY. Even if they sometimes "drove", they recognized the value of trying to always see the positive and to choose Joy. Even they knew that things rarely go well when your primary driver is disgust, fear, anger, or sadness. Interestingly, though, the movie doesn't fall into the trap of teaching that all can be solved by being a cock-eyed optimist. Sometimes, in fact, those other emotions can serve very useful purposes, especially when they "drive" together with Joy.

About all I could say was, "Wow." It isn't very often that you get a message from a major motion picture that life can be hard and beautiful at the same time, or that our emotions are not just something that happen to us, but something that we can choose.  As Christians, it is especially poignant to see how Sadness and Joy can blend together in a situation that involves suffering. 

If you haven't watched this movie with your family yet, I encourage you to do so and to take some time over ice cream and talk about it afterward. Maybe your child or you will come up with even more interesting ideas from this movie about the meaning of life and how we respond to it. Clever movies like this one aren't necessarily designed to lead us one way or the other, but to affect everyone in different ways from the inside - out! 

What is CGS? A Primer for Parents

Is this your first time in Catechesis of the Good Shepherd? You probably have a lot of questions. Hopefully this post will give you some answers. This post is a beautiful one by a parent who discovered our program. We hope you feel the same way as she did!

How Catechesis of the Good Shepherd is different from traditional textbook methods of religious formation

We can begin with the obvious: there are no textbooks! But let's first describe a textbook classroom.

In a textbook classroom:

• there are tables and chairs where similarly aged children usually sit for the entire class time which varies but is usually 75 minutes or fewer
• a catechist leads the class as a whole, usually at the head and leads the lesson and makes assignments. She or he is the director of the classroom activity
• the catechist in these classrooms may be someone with 15+ years of experience as a catechist and a professional teacher on the side, or it may be someone without any formal training doing this for the first time
• the material is covered according to the textbook. The scope and sequence is determined according to the text, as well as the interest of the class as a whole
• a good catechist is someone who can create exciting ways to impart the material in the text in a way that the children will retain it

In a CGS atrium:

• there are many different areas where the children may sit and receive lessons or work, as well as 3 different ages of child who are instructed not simply according to age, but also interest and ability.
• the catechist generally does not instruct the class as a whole unit, but gives lessons or "presentations" to small groups of children at a time. The child's activity, beyond the presentation he or she receives, is chosen by the child from a variety of choices that are offered. In this way, the child is generally the director of the time, choosing work that corresponds to his or her interests and abilities.
• The time in the atrium is usually more extended, allowing for a settled pace. There is no hurry, and there is time for the child to enter into "bigger work."  One of the chief ways a child defends himself against a hurried pace and interrupted concentration is boredom. We do not see boredom as an enemy in CGS, but often as a part of the process of building concentration that leads to contemplation. After a few months, the children groan when the closing bell is rung because the time is too short, not too long!
• Each trained catechist has an "album" of presentations, 50+ presentations per level, complete with direct and indirect aims laid out--these are the goals of what we want the children to achieve and how we measure our success in the presentation. The material from these presentations is drawn from liturgy (the Mass) and scripture.
• The CGS catechist falls into two categories: lead catechist and assistant. The lead catechist is someone who has undergone a 90-hour formation/training course (over 2 weeks of formation) for the level in which they work. Each level is a pre-requisite for the next, so if someone is a lead catechist in Level III (for the 9-12 year old child), she or he has completed a 90 hour training course for Level I and a 90 hour formation course for Level II, as well as 90+ hours for Level III. It does not necessarily mean that the catechist is "experienced," yet, and I can tell you that it is definitely a learning process to catechize in this way, but generally catechists will return year after year to serve and often get to serve the same child for multiple years. An assistant is someone who may or may not have been through formation, but "assists" the lead catechist with the work of maintaining the environment and assisting children in their work.
• The material is presented on a 3 year cycle and is presented according to the age and ability and interest of the individual child as much as possible. A material is never "done," and a child who wants to delve more deeply into geography or the parables or the bible work may always choose to do so.
• A good catechist is a "co-listener" with the children to the Word that she or he proclaims. The true catechist in the atrium is the Holy Spirit, and adults come to learn and be led with a listening, rather than instructing, stance before the child.

Child working with Level II Baptism Work

How thus approach was developed over the course of the last 60+ years

CGS began simply. The foundress, Sofia Cavalletti, was a well-educated scholar of the Hebrew Scriptures, and was asked to help prepare a friend's child for First Holy Communion. She took this role very seriously, and through collaboration with other women who had great interest and experience with child development research and success of Maria Montessori, this group of women developed what we know today as Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. It has been over 50 years now of observing what lessons and parables most resonate in the heart of the child, and what work leads them to desire holiness and develop spiritually according to their great potential.

What to expect (and what not to expect) from your child

Atrium is a bit more like going to church than it is like going to school. The experiences are very personal and sometimes difficult to explain. It is not a matter of: "I drew this today" or "I learned about this today" so much as it is, "I received the Word of God, and it spoke to me in a new way." These sentiments can be difficult for a child to verbalize. However, sometimes it happens! We had a child last Sunday who spent time in the class "prayer chair" writing up her "prares" after working on two materials over the previous weeks:

"Jesus Christ thank you for bringing me into the world. You take away the sins of the world and keep me safe."

"From creation to Redemption to Parousia you have been leading us into your light. You sacrificed your life for us thank you Jesus Christ Amen"

In the younger ages, the first few weeks are not as obviously fruitful, as the child has quite a bit if "practical" work to do to prepare and enable themselves to hear and absorb the content that will be presented. In some ways, the practical life work in the atrium, such as cutting paper, spooning beans, and pouring water, can appear to be completely unrelated to the goals at hand. However, these activities build the child's capacity for concentration and control of movement: very important skills needed for further exploration of the atrium!

How the three levels of CGS meet the developmental needs of the 3-6, 6-9, and 9-12 year old child (Levels I, II, and III respectively)

It is worth pointing out that CGS begins with the needs of the 3 year old child in mind, but continues to grow and change to meet the needs of children in their own unique developmental stage. The need for repetition in young children is more than met in the Level I atrium by the work presented there, while the need but lack of desire for repetition is met for older children by varied works on the same topic. Many of the materials in a Level III atrium can be as difficult or simple as the child needs them to be, and the extention works (e.g. research that the child may do) are directed exactly where the child is. This is why one never really outgrows the material in Level III (I know I haven't), but the way in which it is used changes. For more information on this, keep reading in the blog for individual work descriptions!

MORE INFORMATION FOR THE VERY CURIOUS

How CGS follows the guidelines of the General Directory for Catechesis
The GDC and the NDC are both followed very carefully by the content presented in CGS. The difference is merely in the method and approach. We have a catechist in our Level II (1st grade-3rd grade) atrium who had taught 2nd grade faith formation for years and she was impressed at how everything that was covered in the book was woven seamlessly into the CGS approach. I have templates covering exactly how our presentations work to meet these guidelines available for parents who want them. Just let me know!

Why CGS is respected worldwide and used by the Nashville Dominican Sisters (Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia) and Missionaries of Charity

When asked why the Missionaries of Charity have gone to using CGS in their schools as well as in the formation of their own sisters, the superior of the order (after Mother Theresa's death) replied, "Contemplation." The Good Shepherd approach, as you could see in the 5th grade girl's prayers above, facilitate contemplation in the child... more than just thinking about God, it is a communication with him, and a driving force behind the desire for holiness.

How to follow your child's work and communicate effectively with his/her catechists

• This BLOG! Read here to learn more about the actual lessons and fruit that is taking place in the different levels of CGS.
• Email Mandie! I send a weekly email with announcements for the week, and you can just hit "reply." I can also put you in contact with your catechists with one click!
• Observe in your child's atrium! Ask your child's catechist when would be a good time to come and observe. There are some guidelines that we have (trying to be invisible is one of them!) that the catechist will give you to help you see how the class goes even when you aren't there!
• Hang around after class or come early and ask the catechist how your child is doing. Catechists love nothing more than talking about the work of the children in their atrium!

That is about all for this rather lengthy "orientation," but I hope you have a better understanding of the experience your child will be having this year. We look forward to working together with you!

God Bless,

Mandie DeVries, CGS Catechist and Director of Religious Education

Mothers for Vocations

A long time ago, but not that long ago, some mothers got together in the small town of Lu, Italy and did a little thing with BIG consequences. This town had just a few thousand inhabitants. As it was an Italian town, I suppose many of the people who lived there were Catholic.  A group of mothers, with the permission of their parish priest, began to gather each Tuesday for an hour of prayer and adoration with this intention: that their sons may hear the call to become priests.

Incredibly, this small weekly gathering that may have seemed an annoying hassle to those moms sometimes and insignificant to them at other times, bore perhaps the most astounding vocational fruit that has been seen in the history of the Church. From that generation came forth... wait for it... three hundred twenty-three vocations to the priesthood or religious life. In September 1946, there was a reunion of these classmates and village mates and this immortal photo was taken:

Photo Credit spiritualmotherhoodforpriests.blogspot.com

Back in January, I saw a CNN episode that our diocese posted on Facebook. It was about how the Diocese of Lansing, Michigan is defying all statistics and experiencing a vocations boom. I was curious about why and wanted to ask more questions than Lisa Ling did. After checking out their website (very excellent, with cool videos that they have produced), I noticed right away that they have a beautiful, young, consecrated single woman who serves the Director of Consecrated Vocations for their diocese. (Interesting!) I was still curious, so I decided to call the vocations director in Lansing and asked him what has been the key to their success.

His answer was something that the mothers of Lu figured out more than a hundred years ago. In order for vocations to thrive in a community, the parish and community must intentionally foster a culture of vocations and make it a normal life decision. Those mothers in Lu were a constant and weekly presence that was known and expected. The community was praying to God and truly expected God to answer them. 

This vocations director also pointed out was that when discerning your vocation and highly considering priesthood or religious life became normal, it was more common for young men and women to try it and find out it was not for them.  But he did not see this as a negative at all. In fact, when more of our young people enter seminary or formation for religious life, it is a sign that our young people are thinking more deeply about what it is that God is calling them to be. This culture leads to holier marriages, priests, deacons, and religious, because the young person's vocation is not something that is chosen by inertia or by default, but by choice. It reminds me of a great quote at the end of the movie The Trouble with Angels (which you should absolutely watch with your children--teenaged pranks notwithstanding): "She didn't yield, she chose. And I'd rather have one like her who chose than a hundred who yield."

It has been a very, very long time since All Saints has borne the fruit of a religious vocation. Yet we already are seeing the beginnings of new fruit as two of our parishioners have entered the aspirancy for the diaconate! Most definitely it will not be a "normal" thing for that first man or woman (young or not-so-young) to start a new tradition at All Saints. It will take greater courage than perhaps it will for those who take this step in the future. 

So often we pray for vocations for the Church, but we don't pray intentionally for vocations in our parish or vocations in our families. Let us earnestly begin! Only then will we see God's hand clearly as He moves more and more of our parishoiners and children to listen to His call and equips them with all they need to fully answer Him.

Life's Not Fair

Long ago, Maria Montessori famously identified something called "sensitive periods" in children. Some of the earliest of these (0-6 years) are the sensitive periods for relationship, order, movement, and language. The one that I want to talk about today emerges when a child is nearing 7 years: the sensitive period for justice.  Or as I like to call it, the "It's-Not-Fair Age." 

I'm sure if I could see your faces, I would see you nodding in recognition. There comes a time in our lives when we naturally seem to be a little or a lot more prone to want to discover what the rules are and to feel a desperate need to make sure that other people are following them and to complain vociferously if they don't.

It has long been a stock phrase in the vocabulary of mothers to respond to our children's complaints about injustice with the cliche, "Life's not fair. Get over it."  But this remark sometimes gives the impression that justice is not to be sought, and that being a victim is to be expected in this world.

Sometimes people look at the teaching of Jesus and they think that He is telling us that to be Christian you have to be a doormat that lets everyone walk all over you. That doesn't seem fair, does it? Why should I have to be the loving one (Love your enemies)? The kind one (Pray for those who persecute you)? The forgiving one (I say forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven times)? Why do I always have to "lose" and let the other guy get away with it (If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic, give him your cloak as well)? 

Jesus isn't just telling us that Life's Not Fair, He's actually encouraging us to generously give away whatever "rights" we may have vis-a-vis other people, forbidding us to "get even" with our enemies. I think it would be more fair to knock out your tooth if you knock out mine, than to walk two miles when you force me to walk one! 

Yet, Jesus teaches over and over again that we need to change our focus: not on brooding over how we've been "done wrong" but on developing contrition for our own shortcomings and lots and lots of mercy for everyone else's. 

So what's up here?  

In the parable of the Unforgiving Servant, (Matthew 18:23-34), Jesus turns the "Life's Not Fair" maxim on its head and makes it mean something we may never have considered. In short, the parable is about a servant who owed a ridiculous amount to the King: the equivalent of many, many lifetimes worth of wages. This poor servant begged for mercy. (He begged for the King not to be fair, but to be merciful). He begged for time to pay back the debt, but the King went above and beyond this request and forgave him the entire amount!

But boy, oh, boy did this servant have a short memory for mercy. As soon as he left the palace, he encountered a man who owed him 90 days wages. That debtor begged to be given time to repay his debt, but the servant would hear none of his pleas and locked him in jail until he would repay the whole amount.

When the King caught wind of this, that ungrateful servant got a lesson in what it means when life is fair. The King gave that servant over to the torturers until he repaid his whole debt (which was basically going to be forever).

See, I think when we are all caught up in this idea that life should be fair, we are as short-sighted and ridiculous as that ungrateful servant was. In our relationships with others, we may not always get treated as we think we "deserve", but we must remember that we don't treat God as He deserves and He is still compassionate and merciful to us.

Jesus is very clear that our sins are forgiven ONLY IF we forgive others (Matthew 6:14-15). You either decide you want God to be merciful and so treat others with mercy, or you decide that you want God to be fair, and insist on holding grudges and getting even with others. I think we are all far better off when we drop the whole notion of life being fair, and live our lives in mercy towards others in grateful response to God for His abounding mercy.

You see, life's not fair. And that's a very good thing.

Bless Me, Father: A Primer on the Sacrament of Reconciliation

If you can handle the 12-year-old video technician's wobble, a few of my daughters and I put together something for you that might help give you some ideas of how to prepare your child for his or her first (and subsequent) confessions.

I do recommend this "mock confession" model. I also suggest the idea of filming a video with your child--this highly motivated Leah to learn! She told me the next day that she is READY for her First Reconciliation! The main thing to avoid is the idea of checking off a "grocery list." When you say you are sorry to someone you hurt, you come with contrition and sorrow. These are the most important elements for us to bring. God does the rest.

Another daughter and I also put together this little song to break down the 5 things you may say when you go to confession.  

Here are the words. The words in bold are the things you can actually say (the actual Rite does not call for these words, but they are the customary form and can help to get over nervousness):

1. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

2. Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

3. This is how long it's been.

4. These are my sins. (This is where you confess your sins).

These are the ways I've fallen short of who I want to be.

These are the things I've done that keep your grace from flowing free.

5. And I'm sorry for these and all my sins.

(Then it's Father's turn. He will give advice and a Penance, then he'll ask for the Act of Contrition which you say. He will then pray the Prayer of Absolution. You will make the Sign of the Cross at the end and say Amen and Thank you, Father! often you will go and do your penance in the church as soon as you are finished).

This isn't the theology of the Sacrament at all, that's what all of our the Bible studies are for! This is just the "form" so to speak. Some priests I've confessed to didn't care much at all whether or not I used the "form" above, but once you know it by heart, it takes a lot of anxiety away. We always have cards available so they can "cheat" on the customary form part, but it would be great for parents and kids to run through it a few times together. I know Leah felt much better after 5-10 minutes of going through it with me. 

God be with you as you prepare your child!

Do all Catholics go to Hell?

Her catechist was worried.  The normally cheerful and bright eyed little 8 year old (who we'll call Ella) entered her Catechesis of the Good Shepherd atrium with a decidedly different aspect this particular Wednesday.  When the catechist went over to check in as she was doing her individual work later in the session, Ella looked even more upset and gave her worry words:

"Do all Catholics go to hell?"

Her well-trained catechist may not have been quite ready for that question, but she knew better than to answer right away and instead prompted her for more information and why she was asking.

Ella responded, "My neighbor came over to play last night and she told me that I was going to hell because I was a Catholic. Is it true?"

As a young child, this particular catechist had experienced the exact heartbreaking accusation from well-meaning friends, so poor Ella's worry hit a chord with her.  She quietly said a prayer and responded carefully, "What do you think? Do you think it is true?"

"No."

"I don't either. You know, sometimes it is hard to know what to do in a situation like that.  What do you think you can do for your friend?"

"Pray for her?" Ella responded, her eyes softening.

"That's a good idea.  Maybe we could go to the prayer table and pray right now."  Ella and her catechist prayed intently for Ella's little friend, and she was able to go back to her work with a lighter heart and her joyful eyes were alight again as her catechist blessed her as she left the atrium that day.

Not the First, Not the Last

When the catechist finished restoring her atrium that night, she came to me and shared the story. This was not the first time nor probably the last that I would hear of something like this that one of our parish children had to experience.

For the most part, I have not had to deal with too many people who have been so confident as to pronounce that kind of judgement on others, but I have had people exclaim in surprise, "Wow. I've never met a Catholic like you."  (Really? I wondered. What does that even mean?) "You know, a Catholic who is a Christian!"

While this may sound kind of bizarre to Catholics who consider the word "Catholic" to automatically imply and be synonymous to the word "Christian", there is a very important lesson to be taken from this constant mistake on the part of so many of our Christian brothers and sisters.  They are so concerned about us that they even tell their children that we aren't Christian, and that if we don't get "saved" we are going to hell. Putting their judgement of our eternal damnation aside (if we can), we ought to confront their main evidence:

We don't talk about Jesus enough.  

Sure, we imply it all the time. We talk about "getting the Sacraments," we talk about going to Mass, we talk about Mary, we make the Sign of the Cross when we pray.  But what is the result of this witness we give to our neighbors?  They don't know what a Sacrament is. They don't understand the historical and theological significance of the Mass. Transubstanti-what? They take our veneration of the Blessed Mother--which is nothing more than giving her the same honor that her own Son gives her--as idol worship.  They even see the Sign of the Cross which we make to remind ourselves of the armor of God that we received when Christ saved us in our Baptism as some sort of weird thing that might actually be condemned in the Book of Revelation!

Sure, we can get angry at someone who would presume to judge our or our children's final destination, but there is a bigger opportunity here: an opportunity for evangelization. The only thing I suggested the catechist add to her conversation with Ella is to encourage her to say the thing that is so obvious that we as Catholics miss it.

Ella should say to her friend the thing that most truly represents her relationship with God: "I love Jesus more than anything.  He is my God and He saves me and protects me. He is my best friend and I love Him with all of my heart! And I know He loves me because He gives all of Himself to me and doesn't hold anything back!"

The First Principle 

If Catholics start talking like that, our non-Catholic neighbors and friends will far more easily see their own Jesus reflected in our hearts. They may even start asking us about what it is we mean by Baptism, or Eucharist, or why we make the Sign of the Cross or pray on those beads. We must remember that what is obvious to us, is not so obvious to others. We need to proclaim Jesus Christ as the first principle from which everything we believe flows, and we need to say it out loud to our children so that they may be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks them one day if they are a Christian.

"Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence..." 1 Peter 3:15b-16a.

Religious Education and Spiritual Orphans

I read a really thought-provoking article last week that made me reflect more deeply on what exactly a religious education program can and can't offer families.  The article was critical of the Church for her "hero complex"--you know, the tendency for priests, DREs, youth ministers, Catholic school teachers and catechists to swoop in and attempt to evangelize and catechize a child who has little to no understanding of the faith,without really identifying and addressing the problem that kids are coming to them as "spiritual orphans."

If I had to make an educated guess, it is probably the fault of some well-meaning people from years ago who led a subtle or not-so-subtle campaign to tell parents: "You can't teach this!  The faith is difficult and hard to understand! The Bible? What do you know about the Bible?  You must send your child to religious education classes or Catholic schools so that we "professionals" can pass on the faith."  

Well, something awful happened. While so many people trusted the "experts," the faith simply slipped through the cracks of the generations. We as an institutional Church have discovered that 1 hour per week (or even several hours per week) plus Sunday Mass (if we're lucky) isn't enough to pass on a living, vibrant faith to the next generation.  There is a generation of parents and maybe even grandparents, who may be in the Church, but have never really had a life-changing encounter with Christ.

You see, the idea of "either/or"--where either the parents teach the Faith or they trust Father or Sister or the catechist--misses the point.

The family is the first Church, the Domestic Church.  Everything the family does: from prayer, training in virtue, to modeling forgiveness and acts of mercy, prepares the child for a fuller Christian life.  We as a parish education program promise to do all we can to support you in this role, but we can never replace you.

If you were one of these "spiritual orphans" growing up, and still don't have a lot of confidence in your prayer life, or in your knowledge of the teachings of Jesus and His Church, it is not too late! We are always offering opportunities for adults to go deeper and mature in their understanding and relationship to Christ. Also, as any CGS catechists will tell you, Catechesis of the Good Shepherd formation is a most excellent training to help you understand how to meet the needs and serve the spiritual potential of your little child or grandchild.

Opportunities and graces abound! Our Lord wants nothing more than for parents to become more serious in their role as primary educators of their children in the Faith. But as the old Latin saying goes: "Nemo dat quod non habet"--"You can't give it, if you don't got it!" So go and get it!

Who Forms Whom?

I'm blessed to be writing this week's article from a Formation Leader's Training Course in sunny (and maybe a little muggy) Georgia.  As I've sat and listened to some of the most illustrious names in the Montessori and Catechesis of the Good Shepherd worlds, I am struck by the mysterious and simultaneous gift that the child is for us: he is both our student and our teacher.

We are always thinking of how we can better form our children, raising them up in the faith we love.  Parents spend much time learning how to care for their child, and preparing for the work of teaching them all they must know to be happy, healthy, and wise when they are grown. But which of us could completely become who we were made to be without the influence of a child?

Who else but the child can teach his parents to forget themselves and to pour themselves out for love? Who can teach us patience in the way a child can?  Who can teach us wonder like a child who discovers a little bug or a violet in the middle of a grassy yard?  Who can teach us to slow down like the child who cannot hurry? Who can teach us joy like the child who lives fully in the moment, and gleefully enjoys every touch and smile and look of love from her parents?  Who else can show us what it is to choose to forgive and love without limits those who are poor, those who are rich, those who are old or young? Who can teach us about true beauty except the child who sees to the heart and finds beauty in everyone who loves him?  Who can teach us to love without limits or conditions like the child who is love?

Our Lord said, "Unless you turn and become as little children, you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Learning to meet the needs and honoring the values of the children in our lives are a built-in exchange of formation between the child and the adult. Without the children in our lives, we may never discover who we are made to be. But we must listen to them, and we must be humble enough to learn what it is they are teaching us.

"I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, you have revealed them to childlike. Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will."  Matthew 11:25-26    

Precious Pearl

After an awesome weekend at the YOUTH 2000 Eucharistic Retreat, I was trying to decide what I could write about this week, when this email from a parent showed up in my inbox. We are blessed and privileged to collaborate with parents in forming the faith of their children. Occasionally we get to hear a story like this one:
Hi Mandie.  I am constantly amazed and awed by the ways that CGS has affected and shaped my children's spiritual life. Something happened last night that brought such joy to my heart, I want to share it with you, and any of the other catechists that you think would like to hear it. 

Last night, I was drying my six-year-old's hair during our bedtime routine.  She was super-talkative, as always at bedtime (I know, hard to imagine- she never opens her mouth in public), and she had a particular story she was excited to share with me. My husband went to the men's conference yesterday, and he had shared with her the story of the male model, Mario St. Francis.  Her translation went something like this:

"So Dad said there was this guy who was a model.  He was rich and he had everything you could want.  But one day, he realized that Jesus was more important, so he gave all that up so that he could follow him.  And mom, it made me think of the story Jesus told, about the merchant and the pearl?  He sold everything he had so he could get the precious pearl, which of course, is the kingdom of God.  So this guy gave everything up because he realized that God was more important!  He has the kingdom of God too!"  

I am sure there is much more to the real story of this model, but because of CGS, she keyed into the most important part.  And she had a real reference point so that when she heard of a story of someone who loves God and understands what is truly of value in this world, she made the connection and got excited about recognizing the truth in it.  What more can we ask for as parents? Her eyes were shining with joy for the man that he had "figured it out" too.

I thank God frequently for my "chance" meeting with you and All Saints.  I am so grateful for all the hard work you and everyone in the program puts into it every day in every way.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my heart; and never ever doubt that you are doing the work of The Holy Spirit!

Love and Peace,

Michelle 

Parables and Signs: A Retreat for Adults

This article is part of a "column" I write for our parish bulletin each week called Faith Formation Begins at Home.  This week it is an invitation to a retreat I am putting together based particularly on two chapters in Sofia Cavalletti's book, The History of the Kingdom of God, Part I: From Creation to Parousia.

Parables and Signs: A Retreat for Adults Probably if your children are older than high school or if you don't have children, you don't think too much about religious education methods and modules. Or if you do have young children, one religious education program vs. another might not make that much of a difference to you so long as your child is being formed in the faith. I doubt I would have had much of an opinion either, once my children were grown, had it not been for the discovery of Sofia Cavalletti and the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. Aside from Dr. Cavalletti's ground-breaking discoveries relating to the religious potential of the child, she was also unmatched in her ability to distill her vast knowledge of Scripture, Sacred History, Liturgy, and the Gospel into its most essential and life-changing points. This week's article is a heart-felt invitation to you as adults to "come and see" what thousands of adults from around the world are discovering for themselves in the world of the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd: a transforming gift. Monday, December 16th, from 6:30-9:30pm, step into a world where the greatest Mysteries of our Faith are presented as simply as Our Lord intended.   When Our Lord taught, He used one language.  Whether by parable, or miracle, or Sacrament, Jesus Christ uses the language of sign to simultaneously communicate and hide a Mystery.  This language cannot be translated.  It must be experienced.  It holds within its simplicity an invitation to an interaction, to a reflection, to a response.    Come and hear. Come and see.  But mostly, come and reflect and respond to the mysteries Our Lord has made accessible to us in the simple form of seed, leaven, pearl, miracle, and sign.  There are just shy of a dozen spots remaining for Parables and Signs.  Please RSVP to mandie@dmallsaints.org by December 9th to reserve your spot.  We will begin at 6:30 with an appetizer potluck and a bit of fellowship, so please bring something to share!

God's blessing on you and your family this week and always, Mandie DeVries, CGS Catechist and Director of Religious Education

Stumbled Upon a Goldmine

A guest reflection by parishioner Melissa Hill

“What are they doing?”

This was one of the first thoughts I had when I was led into the atrium, the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd classroom, for the first time. The room was unlike anything I had seen before, and I have to admit that this style of Religious Education seemed a bit odd.

Having just registered at All Saints, I was determined to get my kids involved. So I decided to stay around and watch what they were doing. By the end of the session, I was very interested in what was happening there. I thought I needed to learn more about it, and honestly, it would have been hard for me to leave my children in an environment I didn’t understand. When invited to become an assistant in the room, I agreed without hesitation.

Within only a few weeks, I knew I had stumbled upon a goldmine. This "weird" form of education was producing a profound result with the children. Not only did they know terminology I didn’t know as an adult, they had a reverence for the liturgy and scripture that I hadn’t seen before.

Later that year, I enthusiastically entered into the formation course for Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, but I had no idea the impact my formation would have on my personal relationship with God and Church. I thought this would be a class on how to be a catechist in this new style of classroom. Sure, that was part of my journey, but equally as significant was my own formation, my own experience.

During the extensive training sessions, I became like the child myself and learned about liturgy, scripture and relationship in a way I never had. I came out of the educational experience with a certificate of completion and ready to lead an atrium. I also came out with a new excitement for Catholicism and a readiness to make changes in my own life. I am convinced that the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd program has made me a better mother and wife, and has been the catalyst for so many other growth opportunities for me.

I am so grateful that instead of turning around and going the other way, I was willing to go inside that strange looking classroom and find out for myself what was going on in there!

May God bless your families and your week! ~Mandie DeVries, Director of Religious Education

CGS Brings the Faith to Fareway

A parent (and catechist) sent me an email this week about her 4th grade son who insisted on two particular cans of Pringles while they were grocery shopping. He wouldn't tell her why he wanted them so much, and she was especially confused since they already had two cans of Pringles at home.

This is how he set them up when he got home...

"See, Mom!" and he began to sing the song he has sung in CGS since Kindergarten:

"Purple and Green and Red and White, are the colors of the year! Purple and Green and Red and White, remind us of the Light!"

Even at the grocery store we can be reminded of the Light! Who knew that Pringles cans could help us learn our liturgical colors? Way to go, Mom!

God Bless Everybody!

Mandie