(Re-post from 2013. This showed up in my "timehop" on Facebook and I just had to reprint it! Enjoy!)
It was a Monday morning. The stark reality of responsibilities, getting up and ready for school and work, and settling into the swing of our week had hit me again. It was quite the opposite for my five year old, Leah, who was dreamily pondering before she ran into my room as I was just ready to head downstairs.
"MOM! Guess what?! I've figured it out!"
Her enthusiasm was enough to make me stop and sit on the bed and really listen to her. Sometimes I don't take enough time to slow down and really listen to my children. Thank God I did this time! "What did you figure out, Leah?" She took a deep breath and revealed her newly discovered treasure:
"We're the sheep!"
Now, Leah has been in our Catechesis of the Good Shepherd program for 3 years now, and she has heard and seen the parable of Jesus, the Good Shepherd. She knew that he calls his sheep by name, that he leads them out, that he loves them, and that he would stop at nothing to find a sheep that was lost. Her catechists, as all CGS catechists do, stopped there. We don't push them to "figure out" the parable. We just let them enjoy the Good Shepherd and his great love and care for his sheep. As Sofia Cavalletti, the co-founder of CGS, said, "If a parable does not wish to state clearly the meaning it teaches, then there is a reason." Nobody wants to think long and hard about a riddle whose answer is already given. A puzzle someone else has completed holds no interest for us.
Leah had been pondering this parable that particular Monday morning, and it was a very special day for her.
"We're the sheep! And we're the ones who get lost! When we sin, our hearts go away from Jesus, just like the sheep go away from the shepherd. We're the sheep!"
"And what happens when we sin and go away from Jesus?" I asked her. She didn't even pause:
"He looks for us and searches and will never stop until he finds us, just like the shepherd. And then, when he finds us..." She looked up and even raised her hands a little, "He REJOICES!"
I was so blessed to share that moment with her, a moment of discovering just how loved and special she is to Jesus. This moment was so profound to her, that when she arrived at school that morning, she announced to her teacher,
"Ms. Ginger, I've figured out LIFE."
And in so many ways, she had. Over the course of the next decades of her life, she will likely have to relearn this truth in many different ways. But seeing through the eyes of someone who is just 5 years old, I think I've figured out something new about life, too.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Friday, February 10, 2017
Work Is Love Made Visible
It's funny how we model the faith in the littlest things. The children come into the atrium and it is all prepared for them. They leave it beautiful when it is time to go. They take care of the environment and each other. Parents have told me that when they use our language at home, they find a magical power to the words: "It is time to restore our work." It isn't magic, though. It is tapping into the dignity and desire of the child to live in harmony with those around them. It gives purpose to their work and their life.
"Work is Love made visible." Kahlil Gibran
Monday, February 6, 2017
Growing Up Together
One of my favorite parts of seminal family gatherings is running into my cousin, Matt. Matt's a few years younger than I am, and while we didn't exactly grow up together, it is awesome that he's in Des Moines now, currently working toward his degree at Drake University. Since the birth of his daughter a little over a year ago, we've had some really amazing conversations about children, education, and life in general. This Super Bowl Party at my parents' house last week was no exception.
Looking at the world around us, we both were a little disheartened by how divided the world seems to be and wondered if it is not getting worse instead of better. "It makes you wonder," he ventured, "if it is the right thing to do to bring children into this mess." He caught the look on my face and immediately said what I was thinking, "But it's only the good kids who were raised well who are going to change things." He went on to say how he's starting to really realize how serious this parenting thing is.
"We don't do the baby-talk thing anymore. She might only be a year old, but she is intelligent, she can understand. It's like when we look at her now, we see her future self, and we need to equip her to be that woman."
Maria Montessori used to say that the child is the only one who can do the very important work of building a man, but as I discussed with my cousin, the child's work is not just that of self-discovery and development into an adult. The child also has a irreplaceable role in maturing the adults in his life. Montessori went so far as to call it "the apostolate of the child."
Curse words, inappropriate jokes and conversations, lewd commercials and even violence suddenly become far worse when the adult sees them through the eyes of a child. "There are kids in the room!" "There are children here!" Praise God, immature behavior usually changes when there are children around.
It is most surprising when impatience and selfishness in the adult gives way to the genuine needs of a helpless infant or child. I heard the story of a mother of 7 in a doctor's waiting room who was told, "Wow! 7 children? You are a more patient woman than I am!" The mother responded, "I find that with each child I become more patient. But really, I'm still very impatient. I could probably still use a few more."
It's kind of funny that we become parents under this one-sided idea that we will "raise" our children, or that we will help them grow up. This is definitely true, but without little ones in our lives, I'm not sure that any of us would ever really grow up. Children are the best hope of the world not just for the adults they may become, but for the adults they help us to become. I find it pretty cool that even though my cousin and I spent most of our childhoods states apart, because of our little ones, we still get to grow up together.
"Taking a child he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it he said to them,'Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.'" Mark 9:36-37
Looking at the world around us, we both were a little disheartened by how divided the world seems to be and wondered if it is not getting worse instead of better. "It makes you wonder," he ventured, "if it is the right thing to do to bring children into this mess." He caught the look on my face and immediately said what I was thinking, "But it's only the good kids who were raised well who are going to change things." He went on to say how he's starting to really realize how serious this parenting thing is.
"We don't do the baby-talk thing anymore. She might only be a year old, but she is intelligent, she can understand. It's like when we look at her now, we see her future self, and we need to equip her to be that woman."
Maria Montessori used to say that the child is the only one who can do the very important work of building a man, but as I discussed with my cousin, the child's work is not just that of self-discovery and development into an adult. The child also has a irreplaceable role in maturing the adults in his life. Montessori went so far as to call it "the apostolate of the child."
Curse words, inappropriate jokes and conversations, lewd commercials and even violence suddenly become far worse when the adult sees them through the eyes of a child. "There are kids in the room!" "There are children here!" Praise God, immature behavior usually changes when there are children around.
It is most surprising when impatience and selfishness in the adult gives way to the genuine needs of a helpless infant or child. I heard the story of a mother of 7 in a doctor's waiting room who was told, "Wow! 7 children? You are a more patient woman than I am!" The mother responded, "I find that with each child I become more patient. But really, I'm still very impatient. I could probably still use a few more."
It's kind of funny that we become parents under this one-sided idea that we will "raise" our children, or that we will help them grow up. This is definitely true, but without little ones in our lives, I'm not sure that any of us would ever really grow up. Children are the best hope of the world not just for the adults they may become, but for the adults they help us to become. I find it pretty cool that even though my cousin and I spent most of our childhoods states apart, because of our little ones, we still get to grow up together.
"Taking a child he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it he said to them,'Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.'" Mark 9:36-37
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Notes on This Week's Catechist Tea
When we learned of how Sofia Cavalletti, Gianna Gobbi, and catechists who worked with them would meet in the atrium after sessions each week and drink tea while discussing how things went in the atrium that week, we got the idea to gather as best we can in our program, have some tea (or hot chocolate, or decaf coffee!), and discuss life in the atrium. We call these gatherings "Catechist Tea" and we try to have them quarterly, or monthly, or even weekly, depending on the year and availability of catechists. We had one this Tuesday after our session and were joined by catechists from all of our sessions. This was some of the fruit of our discussion:
1) Broad (and then particular) discussion on what we are noticing. Is CGS serving the children and the families? Catechists shared many beautiful stories about how things are going with interesting comments children have made, work that they have chosen/created, and how we see glimpses of a profound relationship that is developing in the children. We may not be able to "test" the children or "measure" them, because how can you really "measure" a relationship? But as one Level II catechist reflected, "The only difference I can really put my finger on is that the children are happy and excited to come in and that the don't want to leave at the end. So much so that they are actually upset when we ring the bell to invite them to restore their work. That's different from any other experience of RE that I know of..." The other catechists concurred that this is their experience as well. I added the other big difference: "It is probably just as amazing, if not more so that the catechists share that." I know that sometimes it is a struggle in the atrium... Sometimes personalities don't mesh (and come and talk to me so we can do something about it!), but by and large, the overwhelming experience in the atrium is retreat-like and positive for all involved. This is something of a minor miracle. Maybe even a major one.
One new thing this year is having "tea" (usually cider or hot chocolate are chosen over the tea) with the children who are in Level III (4th-6th graders) during extended presentations on Bible Studies. The children have loved this and feel very "adult" as they open their bibles together and discuss the scriptures.
**It was also noted how much the children, even the Level I and toddlers, LOVE the opportunities for Eucharistic adoration. The other comment was about the LINES for confession each month. This is something of a surprise to us grown-ups.**
It was also noted that 70% of the children in our program have parents who volunteer weekly or monthly (donating meals and serving the catechists!). While we don't have any solid numbers to compare this to, we feel that so much adult/parent involvement is something that continues to communicate to the children how important they and their inner life with God is to us.
2) Observations: Discussion about how and why we spend time in observation (instead of always in direct contact with the children or in discussion with other adults in the room). What sets our approach apart is that we do not primarily observe the children, but how the environment serves the children (and we adults are part of that environment). We are not primarily looking to see what the child needs "next" but to see what material is calling children to personal work, and which is not (is it because it is poorly designed? in a bad location? does the drawer stick? did I give a poor presentation that didn't draw them in? Were the consumable materials restored so there was enough for the child to finish and restore his work?) We are constantly looking at ways to improve the environment, trusting that the more prepared the environment, the better will we serve the children. The children can handle "disordered movements" from other children far more easily than they can handle disordered movements from the adults in the environment. After a period of time, when we see work cycles that are complete (get a mat for work, get work from shelf, do work--greatest concentration at the end, restore work to shelf and roll up mat, sense of fulfillment) and an atmosphere of peace and helpfulness in the atrium, even in snatches, we see that the environment is serving the children.
3) Albums and Record Keeping: Catechists were further invited to use down-time in the atrium (or train your assistants) to update the permanent record sheets that tell us which presentations a child has received. My goal for next fall is to have 100% of the children with a permanent record sheet that follows them to the next level. These are simply a tool to help catechists in a program as large as ours, but a great gift. If we do this well, we can serve the children even better. I did hear a comment though that I want to address: While we do want the children to see presentations and get the most out of each level, it is not a goal to have the children see 100% of the material in each level. If you have a child who decides to work extensively with geography, for example, and is focused on the booklets and looking up the cities in the bible, and can do the whole pin map without looking at the control, you do not need to worry that the child is being "shorted" because he did not see an expanded parable work. Trust the child. If he is deeply engaged in his work, we have seen the fruit of ours.
As to albums: I encourage each catechist to make it a goal to rewrite your albums over the long course of your work as a catechist. Your group album is not YOUR album. Even your first album that you write 100% in your own words is not really complete. It is the work of the catechist to prepare (and constantly rework) his or her album. If you have not done this (and most of us have not), you are working in the atrium without the preparation that is most essential to your work in the atrium: your own deep reflection on the doctrinal content of the presentation, the aims, and the meaningful questions that you offer to the children. Please consider making it a goal to work on at least a couple of album pages before the end of the year. I will check over them if you need me to.
I am again humbled by these fabulous catechists of our parish, and I look forward to welcoming more men and women into our ranks in the coming years. For now, though, I am looking forward to next month's tea. We are always growing, and what a blessing that we can grow together!
1) Broad (and then particular) discussion on what we are noticing. Is CGS serving the children and the families? Catechists shared many beautiful stories about how things are going with interesting comments children have made, work that they have chosen/created, and how we see glimpses of a profound relationship that is developing in the children. We may not be able to "test" the children or "measure" them, because how can you really "measure" a relationship? But as one Level II catechist reflected, "The only difference I can really put my finger on is that the children are happy and excited to come in and that the don't want to leave at the end. So much so that they are actually upset when we ring the bell to invite them to restore their work. That's different from any other experience of RE that I know of..." The other catechists concurred that this is their experience as well. I added the other big difference: "It is probably just as amazing, if not more so that the catechists share that." I know that sometimes it is a struggle in the atrium... Sometimes personalities don't mesh (and come and talk to me so we can do something about it!), but by and large, the overwhelming experience in the atrium is retreat-like and positive for all involved. This is something of a minor miracle. Maybe even a major one.
 |
| A group of children chose to "visit Jesus" before atrium began last week. |
**It was also noted how much the children, even the Level I and toddlers, LOVE the opportunities for Eucharistic adoration. The other comment was about the LINES for confession each month. This is something of a surprise to us grown-ups.**
 |
| A 6th Grader chose to copy the "History of the Jewish People" Timeline |
It was also noted that 70% of the children in our program have parents who volunteer weekly or monthly (donating meals and serving the catechists!). While we don't have any solid numbers to compare this to, we feel that so much adult/parent involvement is something that continues to communicate to the children how important they and their inner life with God is to us.
2) Observations: Discussion about how and why we spend time in observation (instead of always in direct contact with the children or in discussion with other adults in the room). What sets our approach apart is that we do not primarily observe the children, but how the environment serves the children (and we adults are part of that environment). We are not primarily looking to see what the child needs "next" but to see what material is calling children to personal work, and which is not (is it because it is poorly designed? in a bad location? does the drawer stick? did I give a poor presentation that didn't draw them in? Were the consumable materials restored so there was enough for the child to finish and restore his work?) We are constantly looking at ways to improve the environment, trusting that the more prepared the environment, the better will we serve the children. The children can handle "disordered movements" from other children far more easily than they can handle disordered movements from the adults in the environment. After a period of time, when we see work cycles that are complete (get a mat for work, get work from shelf, do work--greatest concentration at the end, restore work to shelf and roll up mat, sense of fulfillment) and an atmosphere of peace and helpfulness in the atrium, even in snatches, we see that the environment is serving the children.
3) Albums and Record Keeping: Catechists were further invited to use down-time in the atrium (or train your assistants) to update the permanent record sheets that tell us which presentations a child has received. My goal for next fall is to have 100% of the children with a permanent record sheet that follows them to the next level. These are simply a tool to help catechists in a program as large as ours, but a great gift. If we do this well, we can serve the children even better. I did hear a comment though that I want to address: While we do want the children to see presentations and get the most out of each level, it is not a goal to have the children see 100% of the material in each level. If you have a child who decides to work extensively with geography, for example, and is focused on the booklets and looking up the cities in the bible, and can do the whole pin map without looking at the control, you do not need to worry that the child is being "shorted" because he did not see an expanded parable work. Trust the child. If he is deeply engaged in his work, we have seen the fruit of ours.
 |
| A gathering of catechists in my home as we discuss "The Domestic Church" (There were 35 children in the basement that day!) |
I am again humbled by these fabulous catechists of our parish, and I look forward to welcoming more men and women into our ranks in the coming years. For now, though, I am looking forward to next month's tea. We are always growing, and what a blessing that we can grow together!
Monday, January 30, 2017
Making Harmonies with Discordant Notes
OR
"How Family Life is a Lot Like 5th Grade Band"
We can all picture what a 5th grade band concert sounds like, right? My apologies to well-meaning 5th graders, but in truth, it's probably somewhere between penance and punishment. With proper guidance, however, the band members mature and learn to play the right notes at the right time. Some high school and college concerts are downright enjoyable!
Just like a band or orchestra where everyone plays the right notes, it is difficult to overestimate the value that a harmonious family life has on the world. The members of any family eventually grow up and become members of society at large and myriad groups within that society. Nobody enters the wider community without first being a member of a family in one way or another. The family is unarguably the nursery for society. It's like 5th grade band. Even though things can sound awful from time to time in our homes, it's part of a learning process that helps us to learn how to be in harmony with the world around us.
Thank God, we don't have to be perfect people to make family life work. Maybe you've heard the proverb that "God writes straight with crooked lines." Well, since my children play instruments and sing in choir, it is easier for them to understand the idea of how God can still make a beautiful symphony even when we are playing wrong notes.
When a sibling makes a bad decision, a selfish choice, or loses her temper and lashes out, the whole family suffers. This discordant note can resonate and lead to the whole day's symphony falling apart. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to stop another person from continually making bad choices.
This is where the rest of the family needs to work together and help resolve that bad note. Some families might sound like a simple hymn with gentle harmonies, while others sound more like a jazz piece with unusual and unique chords and structure. The important thing is that we don't throw our instruments (to painfully draw out the analogy) at the person who made the mistake. As they say on Broadway: "The show must go on!" We must keep playing the best notes we can, maybe by doing something unexpectedly kind, or bringing in humor at just the right moment, regardless of what the others choose to do.
When I talk to my children about how to work together with their siblings, even when they are having a bad day (or week), I give the example of the saints. Saints are not people who had an easy life because they only hung out with other saints. You don't have to look very hard to see that the saints lived with people who drove them crazy, imprisoned them, irritated them, and sometimes killed them. Yet in their souls they were able to rise above these difficulties, sometimes even converting their oppressors and enemies by their gentleness. I love the story, for example, of how the witness of St. Paul and Silas converted their jailer (Acts 16:25-40).
When the members of a family can remember to call on the grace of God to help them get along, make it work, forgive, build each other up, and provide positive examples to each other, even when everyone is so imperfect that it reminds us of early September in 5th grade band, we begin to see how God works in our world. We don't have to write every line straight or always play the right notes. God comes to us in our weakness. He can write straight with crooked lines, after all, and even with our bad notes, He can still help us to live in harmony.
"How Family Life is a Lot Like 5th Grade Band"
We can all picture what a 5th grade band concert sounds like, right? My apologies to well-meaning 5th graders, but in truth, it's probably somewhere between penance and punishment. With proper guidance, however, the band members mature and learn to play the right notes at the right time. Some high school and college concerts are downright enjoyable!
Just like a band or orchestra where everyone plays the right notes, it is difficult to overestimate the value that a harmonious family life has on the world. The members of any family eventually grow up and become members of society at large and myriad groups within that society. Nobody enters the wider community without first being a member of a family in one way or another. The family is unarguably the nursery for society. It's like 5th grade band. Even though things can sound awful from time to time in our homes, it's part of a learning process that helps us to learn how to be in harmony with the world around us.
Thank God, we don't have to be perfect people to make family life work. Maybe you've heard the proverb that "God writes straight with crooked lines." Well, since my children play instruments and sing in choir, it is easier for them to understand the idea of how God can still make a beautiful symphony even when we are playing wrong notes.
When a sibling makes a bad decision, a selfish choice, or loses her temper and lashes out, the whole family suffers. This discordant note can resonate and lead to the whole day's symphony falling apart. Sometimes there is nothing we can do to stop another person from continually making bad choices.
This is where the rest of the family needs to work together and help resolve that bad note. Some families might sound like a simple hymn with gentle harmonies, while others sound more like a jazz piece with unusual and unique chords and structure. The important thing is that we don't throw our instruments (to painfully draw out the analogy) at the person who made the mistake. As they say on Broadway: "The show must go on!" We must keep playing the best notes we can, maybe by doing something unexpectedly kind, or bringing in humor at just the right moment, regardless of what the others choose to do.
When I talk to my children about how to work together with their siblings, even when they are having a bad day (or week), I give the example of the saints. Saints are not people who had an easy life because they only hung out with other saints. You don't have to look very hard to see that the saints lived with people who drove them crazy, imprisoned them, irritated them, and sometimes killed them. Yet in their souls they were able to rise above these difficulties, sometimes even converting their oppressors and enemies by their gentleness. I love the story, for example, of how the witness of St. Paul and Silas converted their jailer (Acts 16:25-40).
When the members of a family can remember to call on the grace of God to help them get along, make it work, forgive, build each other up, and provide positive examples to each other, even when everyone is so imperfect that it reminds us of early September in 5th grade band, we begin to see how God works in our world. We don't have to write every line straight or always play the right notes. God comes to us in our weakness. He can write straight with crooked lines, after all, and even with our bad notes, He can still help us to live in harmony.
Above was a bit of the inspiration for this article. My 5 year old was practicing the piano and playing rather painful notes over and over again. My 12 year old is quite the musician though, and came over and made this beautiful song with her sister. I realized that without the 12 year old, the 5 year old would just have been annoying everyone. We can help each other when we choose to use our gifts to make harmonies!
Monday, January 23, 2017
Help Me Do It by Myself
Maria Montessori was a Catholic scientist, doctor, and ultimately, educator, whose discoveries about what she called "the true nature of the child" have had a profound effect upon parents, educators, catechists, and children around the world. One of the key tenants of Dr. Montessori's understanding of the child is the silent plea to the adult: "Help me do it by myself."
When adults are aware of this need and desire of the child, amazing things happen. From toddlers who drink out of regular cups, make bread, and carefully clean out fish tanks (without killing the fish!), to 4 year olds who dress themselves (including coats and shoes) and who prepare and clean up their own snacks (including washing and putting away the dishes and sweeping the floor), the examples of what a child can do with the proper presentation and prepared environment are astounding.
It is not a matter of the adult pushing the child to independence, but serving as a humble guide who offers all the child needs to take his independence for himself.
Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, as you may know, is inspired by the work that Montessori added to the field of education as well as spirituality. We seek to prepare an environment where the child, even the youngest child, can be independent in the very important work that only a child can do: building a man (or woman).
Our scope in our parish CGS program, of course, is limited by the time frame (less than 2 hours per week for only part of the year) and our purpose. We seek to prepare a place where the child can fall in love with God. Yet the child does not wish for us to do this work for him/her.
Much like the Montessori dressing boards that prepare a child to dress himself, fasten his own coat, and tie his own shoes, Catechesis of the Good Shepherd seeks to offer formation to the child (and adult) that will prepare the child to take responsibility for his own "white garment" which he received at baptism. The catechist prepares the presentation (usually pertaining either to the Liturgy (Mass) or Scripture, offering rich food for the child's wonder, but the majority of the child's time in the CGS atrium is for his own personal work. In this way, his faith formation is an active response of the child, a seeking to discover more, to understand better.
A relationship with God is not something that any person can give to another, however, we can seek, both in our parish and in our homes, to prepare an environment that will help the child feel and respond for himself to that inner longing for relationship with the Lord that was placed there by God Himself.
"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you." St. Augustine
When adults are aware of this need and desire of the child, amazing things happen. From toddlers who drink out of regular cups, make bread, and carefully clean out fish tanks (without killing the fish!), to 4 year olds who dress themselves (including coats and shoes) and who prepare and clean up their own snacks (including washing and putting away the dishes and sweeping the floor), the examples of what a child can do with the proper presentation and prepared environment are astounding.
 |
| A young child in our toddler environment washing mirrors |
Catechesis of the Good Shepherd, as you may know, is inspired by the work that Montessori added to the field of education as well as spirituality. We seek to prepare an environment where the child, even the youngest child, can be independent in the very important work that only a child can do: building a man (or woman).
Our scope in our parish CGS program, of course, is limited by the time frame (less than 2 hours per week for only part of the year) and our purpose. We seek to prepare a place where the child can fall in love with God. Yet the child does not wish for us to do this work for him/her.
Much like the Montessori dressing boards that prepare a child to dress himself, fasten his own coat, and tie his own shoes, Catechesis of the Good Shepherd seeks to offer formation to the child (and adult) that will prepare the child to take responsibility for his own "white garment" which he received at baptism. The catechist prepares the presentation (usually pertaining either to the Liturgy (Mass) or Scripture, offering rich food for the child's wonder, but the majority of the child's time in the CGS atrium is for his own personal work. In this way, his faith formation is an active response of the child, a seeking to discover more, to understand better.
A relationship with God is not something that any person can give to another, however, we can seek, both in our parish and in our homes, to prepare an environment that will help the child feel and respond for himself to that inner longing for relationship with the Lord that was placed there by God Himself.
"You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you." St. Augustine
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