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Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Why? vs. What Now?

Sometimes when I am talking to my children, bits of wisdom come out of my mouth and I have no idea where they came from. I usually give the credit to my mom, or any one of my brilliant and holy friends, or, of course, Catholic radio. Sometimes I'll even remember reading it somewhere in a book written by a saint or other holy person. So you have been informed. Pretty much nothing I ever say in this column is original, it is all pilfered from much holier and more intelligent folk. All the better for you.

Well, in the last few months, we were dealing with a difficult situation in our family. There were some serious moments where the "whys" were sapping up so much strength and energy that it was difficult to focus on anything else. In talking to one of my girls who was really struggling to put words to the "whys."

I stopped her. "God is not in the 'why'," I told her, "He's in the 'What Now?'"

I realized, after wondering what on earth made me say that, that this insight was a powerful synthesis of many lessons I've been learning over the past years.

It is seldom, if ever, peaceful to look back on the past and lament over why we fell, why we or others chose so poorly, or why a tragedy may have happened. The tough subject of why there is evil in the world and why I (who should know better) participate in it sometimes, is one that philosphers and theologians will wrestle with until the end of time. Even with some of the big questions answered, "Original Sin" doesn't seem that satisfying of an answer when you make a serious mistake, when someone you love hurts you, or when someone you trusted betrays you...

The answer is often simply that sometimes we don't get to know why. It is humbling. It is limiting. Sorry, child, you and I don't get to be omnipotent.

But always, always, we can pray for light to know what to do next. We don't have to waste our time and prolong our grief or brooding by dwelling too long on why things aren't different. God is here now, in this particular situation. He may not give us light to see our path for the next ten years, but if we are honest, we have never been left without light enough to know what to do for the next ten minutes.

After the tragedy on 9/11, I heard a reporter interviewing a Catholic priest about why God allows evil. His answer was so simple and confident: "So that God can bring a greater good out of it." To what "greater good" is God calling and leading us? We can't know that if we are only looking backward.

So, taking advantage of the gift of Reconciliation if we need it, we must walk in trust, peace of heart, and faith whatever path you can see ahead. God will show us the "what now" once we leave the "whys" behind us.

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