"God is God, and I am Not"

The Pharisee took up his position and spoke this prayer to himself,
‘O God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of humanity --
greedy, dishonest, adulterous -- or even like this tax collector. 
I fast twice a week, and I pay tithes on my whole income.’ 

Luke 18:11-12

Have you ever felt the crushing pain of self-knowledge or self-loathing? Have you ever put on so convincing a mask over the "real you" that you even you can't see through it sometimes?

Each time this parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector is read, I consider this sleight of hand or master illusion that the Pharisee is trying to pull off. "Lord, don't look at me. Look at these other people. Yes, let's both stand here looking at them together. I am much more like YOU, Lord, than I am like this tax collector! Let me just list all of the great things about me!"

I suppose it is possible that a Pharisee with this disposition could believe his words and go home self-satisfied. But I doubt it.

When we consider what it means to be humble, as compared what it means to be full of pride, I think that this parable is a great teacher.

The poor tax collector stood in the back not to be hidden, but because he was fully exposed to the God who made him. Because of this, he could not even raise his eyes. There, in the gaze of the God of the Universe, he was laid bare and begged for mercy. He knew who he was, but more importantly, he knew who he wasn't: he was not God.

Unlike the poor Pharisee, he knew that God gives mercy and love because of the greatness of God, not the greatness of man. The tax collector in the story could be fully and completely his flawed self before his God, and still beg for forgiveness and mercy.

The Pharisee may have gone home self-satisfied, but Jesus teaches us that only one went home justified.

Last weekend at training, one of the catechists shared how her young son prays everyday this beautiful prayer: "God is God, and I am not."

How comforting to know that I need not climb onto a pedestal to be close to my Creator, because Lord knows that I would just fall off. I can take off the mask and come to him in all my brokenness, confident that this great Lover of my soul will hear my prayer for mercy.

At the Hour of Our Death and NOW!

Maybe you noticed a little booth in the corner of the Ministry Fair last weekend. There were two young girls, 11 and 12 year old parishioners, who were displaying a variety of hand-tied rope rosaries, and some of their favorite bead rosaries next to a sign up that said, "Living Rosary of Girls (Must be 16 or younger)."

The premise of their sign-up was that each volunteer would promise to pray one decade of the rosary each day for the intentions of life and their vocations.  The girls are about half way done with their signup. They are hoping to get a full 20 girls (one for each decade) plus one to pray the opening and closing prayers. Girls can (obviously) pray more than just one decade per day, but this is a commitment to pray everyday so that together a full rosary is said for their special intentions.

I have to admit... I would never in a million years have thought to do that when I was 11 years old. Rosaries were prayed by the old people in church and when someone died. I figured I would probably grow up and pray the rosary, but not "now."

I think that their idea started because one of the girls' moms (Geneveve L., a CGS catechist, a parishioner here, and also one of my baby sisters) decided to start something similar a couple of years ago with a group of moms. "The Living Rosary of Moms" was an idea she got from reading about the teenage years of Pope St. John Paul the Great and a group of young men that formed a Living Rosary even before he discerned the priesthood.

Geneveve decided to throw it out there and see if she could find 19 other people who would pray together each month. A couple of years later, she now has 89 woman who have joined together to form more than 4 full rosaries prayed each day for our vocations as wives and mothers, for the vocations of our children, and any special intentions we might have together. Apparently this witness had quite the impact on her daughter who is now setting up her own LR group.

October is the "Month of the Rosary" and is as good a time as any to discover the power of this devotion.

The mysteries we reflect on are a powerful way to think more deeply about the life of our Lord, the prayers themselves are composed from the words of scripture ("Hail, Full of Grace" Luke 1:28 and "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb" Luke 1:42), and the difference that this simple discipline of prayer can make in your life is immeasurable. Mary's whole life points directly to Jesus. Spend time with her in the Rosary! Not only does she promise to be with us "at the hour of our death," but also "now." So there is no better time to begin!

Click here to join in our CGS Living Rosary that runs for the month of October!

Reasons to Be Nice to Your Sister

Sibling rivalry. It's a thing.

There might be some families where the siblings don't struggle to get along, but I'm pretty sure they live in a faraway land called "Nowhere."

I think that the reason for this is simple: we just don't try very hard to get along with the people who have to hang out with us.

Friends? Sure, they get our best side. Acquaintances? I'll even do my hair to hang out with you. But my parents/siblings/spouses/my own children? They are far more likely to get the "leftover" me--the one who is all tired out from being nice to everybody else.

I remember my mother warning me to treat my sisters more nicely. "One day, you are going to need your sister, and she's not going to be there for you because you chased her away. You have to treat your sisters at least as good as your friends if you really want them to be your friends." It was great advice, and I'm glad I finally listened, because my sisters are some of the best friends I have in the world.

Well as I watch my own children struggle with the early stages of this very ugly thing, I'm begging our Lord for light on how to help them choose to love their (currently annoying) sisters. The only thing I can think to offer is Jesus' golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" Matt 7:12.

The only way to transform our family relationships is if someone decides to live this out. Otherwise, we're all just treating each other the way we are treated. That's how ground wars are started.

Do you want to build a happy family? Do unto your sister as you would have her do to you. Do you want someone to be there for you when life hits you hard and you need help? Do unto your sister as you would have her do to you.

And for goodness' sake pray! Sometimes our relationships need more than a little kindness to heal.

Dear Lord, 

I offer you this prayer, to help me with my current relationship situation. Please take away all the pain and hurt in my heart. Fill it with love, joy, patience, and understanding. Bless me and _____, so that we may never surrender to whatever challenges that come our way. Fill our hearts with love for each other, and may you make each one of us realize each other's worth. Please touch the heart of my _____, fill it with much love for me. Make our complicated relationship become uncomplicated. I seek for your mercy and blessing that you may allow us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Please make this feeling mutual for both of us. Lead us not into temptations. Guide us wherever we go. Always put us in each other's heart and mind. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. I love you. Amen.

(Prayer taken from Catholic.org)

When Stuff Makes You Sad

"Why are you crying?!" I asked a particularly distraught child one day, as she was finishing a Popsicle I had given her.

"(Cousin's name) is playing with my [insert favorite-toy-of-the-day here]!"

Okaaaay. Let's leave aside the fact that its' a beautiful day at the playground, all of us are healthy, we're snacking on yummy sugary treats, and we get to be with our cousins. God's in His Heaven, kiddo, and all is right with the world. But, for this little girl, all was not right with the world. She doesn't have a particular THING and it was making her miserable.

Now, as parents we all desire to give our children the best we can. We make sacrifices so that we can go on vacations with them. We put them in activities. We ensure that they have birthday and Christmas presents, and a maybe even a phone that won't embarrass them when they pull it out in front of their friends. And why not? We have good things. We love our children. So why wouldn't we want to give the ones we love good things?!

I remembered a recent visit with missionaries who had spent time among the poorest communities in other countries. They had a surprising observation: even though the people they were serving had nothing, they were happy. Actually, they were joy-filled.

Ironically, studies show that depression rates are actually higher in developed countries that in poor communities like the ones my friends serve in. St. Mother Teresa once famously said that we in the Western world suffered not from a poverty of things, but a poverty of love.

For that myopic moment in the park, my poor girl could only focus on what she didn't have. She was so worried about this thing that she didn't have room for joy.

Well, it opened up a blinding insight into my own heart: Where is the center of my attention? Is it on all that I have, or all that I lack? In that moment, I determined that we would all have to work much harder to ensure that our children are brought up with a healthy attitude toward the things that they possess, or else those things may end up possessing them.

So while my response to my distraught little girl was important, it was even more necessary that it echo in my own heart as well:

"God's in His Heaven, and all is right with the world. And for Heaven's sake: don't let stuff make you sad!"

Christ Our Life Conference

"Wait. You're bringing ALL of your kids?"

Well, it was tempting to find a sitter and attend the upcoming Christ Our Life conference (September 24th-25th at Wells Fargo Arena!) like a "date" with my husband, but we decided to splurge and bring all of the kiddos for a couple of reasons.

1) You never know what a little kid is going to remember. Today, for example, I was with my 5 year old alone in the van and she started telling me about the Trinity. "Three People, but only One God." I asked her more about it, then I asked her how she knew that. "Jesus," was her blunt reply. Of course, I thought, she's five. She doesn't know where she learns things, she just absorbs things. This is a huge reasons why we expose our little kids to so many people, places, ideals, and ideas: because it's the best and easiest time to form their character. It couldn't hurt for her to attend Mass at the COL conference with 7500+ people, with a magnificent choir of over 100, and a bunch of smiling happy Catholics who are talking constantly about Jesus.

2) It's important for our children to know that they aren't alone. Way back in the day when I was 14, I remember my first "large group" Catholic experiences. We were the minority in my town, and most of the Catholics in our parish looked to my teenage eyes like they were only there for roll call. The exposure to the "Universal Church"--the large body of fired-up believers--was a game changer for me. The Christ Our Life Conference is happening at Wells Fargo Arena, where my kids go to concerts, and Disney on Ice, and sporting events. To see the wider Church step into the light will help me as a parent when my kids think my husband and I are the only weird ones. Nope. The Body of Christ that you are part of isn't just our Domestic Church, kiddo. It is a big, big thing.

3) They still talk about the last one. Learning about Mary's Meals from Magnus McFarlane-Barrow and having their shirt signed by Immaculée Ilibagiza, and singing with Steve Angrisano are still great memories that they talk about today. Even four years ago when 1.5 year old Lucy was fussing and I couldn't stay in and listen, it still turned into a fabulous experience.  I herded her into the Adoration Chapel (always set up on the floor level under the stands) and she knelt with me in the back. I closed my eyes for just a second and she ran, I mean, bolted, up to the front. As I tried to hurry and chase her, she stopped exactly under the tabernacle with Jesus exposed in the Monstrance above it. She knelt there in silence, POINTING up at Jesus for what felt like an eternity, but was probably 30 or 40 seconds. Then she turned to the adorers behind her, her chubby little finger still pointing at our Lord. "Jesus!" she said, then she turned forward again and exclaimed again, "Jesus!"

Even if the kiddos don't get it on the same level as the adults, I decided that it's okay. They're fresher from God than we are, anyway. They'll get what He wants them to get. My job is simply to let them come!

You can get your tickets after Masses this weekend or on the web at http://www.christourlifeiowa.com! You get a discount if you don't wait to get them at the door of Wells Fargo Arena!

Under Your Breath

"What did you say?"

I made a rule many years ago that if my children mumbled something inaudible, especially if it seemed as though it was unkind, they would have to repeat it again until I could hear it properly.

"Nothing," is sometimes the reply I get.

But it's never nothing. I tell them that the words they say under their breath are still said aloud, and if that is the case, they must have meant for me to hear them. Usually neither they nor I am pleased with the words that I hear when they are repeated more audibly, but dealing with the ick of their actual lack of charity in this case is much better than letting it go or wondering if what they said is as bad as I thought. Words matter. In fact, each word we say aloud is one that will be held to account, even if we feel like no one is listening.

My mother told me a story many years ago about a penitent who took her sinful gossip to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The priest who heard her confession offered her a bizarre penance: "Take a feather pillow to peak of the hillside overlooking the city and shake out each of the feathers. Then return to me and I will give you one more thing to do." The woman complied, but she was quite bewildered when she returned to the priest.

"Good," he told her, "Now you have one last thing to do: I need you to go and gather the feathers back into the pillow." Shocked, the woman protested, "How can I possibly do that? The wind has taken them and they are scattered across the world by now."

"You are right," the wise priest replied. "Just so your own words, once they are out of your mouth. You can never gather them up again. They have gone out either to do good or the opposite. You can either spend your life seeking to undo the damage that your careless words continue to cause, or you can choose to reign in your tongue."

Our changing opinions of others may run through our minds constantly, but once we lend voice to them, it is impossible to know how far that one uncharitable moment's thoughts can reach. Our breath is a great gift of God, which is why our words, even those mumbled under our breath, must be counted and carefully chosen.

The Land of Divine Mercy

World Youth Day 2016 Reflections

July 26th, 2016 was our assigned day for the Pilgrimage of Mercy. This meant we were to meet at Blonia (B-won-ia) Park and walk to Lagiewniki (Wa-gievniki), home to the Divine Mercy Shrine and the Sanctuary of Pope St. John Paul II. Round trip this was probably about 9 miles.

This day was singular in World Youth Day history in that it took place during the Year of Mercy in the Land of Divine Mercy. Our pilgrimage was a reflection on God's inexhaustible fountain of mercy and forgiveness.

Two small little gestures fed my heart on the way.

We were praying the rosary when Lucy jumped out of the stroller ran to the side of the sidewalk and pick this flower and ran over and gave it to me. I reflected on it for quite a while, and it really melted my heart. I'm taking her to Jesus and she gives me a flower because I'm her mommy. I realized that praying the Rosary is a lot like giving Mary a flower while she points the way to Jesus. It's a sweet gesture of love.

The other one was catching two of my middle girls: 12 and 10 years old, holding hands as we walked. This is not a normal, spontaneous gesture that we see. But even the hardest road is made better when you can walk with a friend.

At Pope St. John Paul II's Sanctuary, we were able to see the bloody cassock from the assassination attempt on our beloved pope (shot 4 times point blank and survived!)



The short walk from there to the Divine Mercy Shrine was silent and prayerful due to the loud speakers reminding everyone that they were entering a zone of silence, a place of prayer.









Below is the view coming up to the altar. St. Faustina's tomb was under the image of the Divine Mercy: an image of Jesus with two rays of light coming from his heart. Those rays represent the blood and water that flowed out from his heart when it was pierced, but according to Faustina, they represent His Divine Mercy which flows on the whole world.

Sometimes we would be waiting outside of a Church for the girls to finish praying, and the Divine Mercy Shrine was one of those places.

"Take your time, girls. Take your time."

Christ's Mercy is flowing out over us always, but how often do you take the time to sit and let it wash over you?